Knight Life

A Different World

2011-11-20T13:14:00.001-05:00

When teaching my Primary class at church today, I was reminded that these children are growing up in a much different world than I did. They are turning 6 this year, born in 2005. I'm not speaking of all the ways in which the world has grown coarser since I was 6 in 1978, but mainly about the lack of knowledge about what Communism was and still is in the world.

The lesson was about using the names of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ reverently and respectfully, and how the Lord knows each of us by name. We talked about how special our names are and I asked the children if they knew why they were given the names they were. One girl mentioned that her middle name was Russian. I asked her if her dad had been a missionary in Russia? She replied that both parents had been. I told them that when I was their age, there were no missionaries in Russia, that the Russian people weren't allowed to go to church because their government didn't allow it. Seven shocked faces looked back at me.

I told them further that the government told them where they could live, what kind of work to do, how much they would get paid. Still stunned, one boy said, "I would just leave." As I told them that the people couldn't leave, that there were guards at the border that would shoot them if they tried to escape, a loud gasp filled the room.

Now I had their attention - it was the climax of the story. What happened so these people could have freedom? They decided. The people decided and banded together and told their government, "Enough!" Then they were able to have the freedom to come and go, worship, work where they wanted, live where they wanted.

So hopefully the students learned a little history today. I know that I was reminded of the importance of teaching the evils of Communism to the younger generation so they will be able to see the subtle signs in the world around them and reject forms of control - even when it's couched in the terms of "common good."

**Disclaimer: I was very careful to simply talk about history and the basic freedoms that these people were denied to explain why missionaries were not allowed in Russia (or the Ukraine) in the '80s and why they are now. Any inferences or political discussions about Communism were left to their parents.

My Wish

2011-10-20T20:35:00.002-04:00

Today my Jake (Michael) turned 15 - and what a great day it's been!
It started with breakfast at Bojangle's (bo-han-glace) with him and Spencer:

These are their "Zoolander" poses - Hansel and Zoolander

Then I took Michael to the DMV to take the test for his Drivers Permit - he has to have it a full year before getting his license, so he really wanted to pass the test today so he'll be able to get his license on his 16th birthday. Unlike some other people in our family (clearing throat) he passed the test on the first try!

What? I have to get my picture taken!?!?

Like I've said before on this blog, Jake/Michael is a teenage dream - a mom's dream teenage son. While we were driving from Bojangle's to the DMV, the song "My Wish" came on the radio, and I told Jake to listen to the words closely because it was a perfect song from me to him on his birthday (and every day really).

Because even though he's got facial hair and muscles and is taller than me, when I think about him I still see this sweet boy "pondering" the scriptures:

And I think of all the gifts he brings to my life and the life of everyone he knows. I think of the cute things he said as a child that showed me that he really thinks about life and what and how he wants to be. Like the time when he was around five years old, and on the way to church he asked me, "Mom, uh, how long does it take for the baby to come after you get married?" I thought this question came about because two of his uncles had recently married and he didn't see any baby cousins forthcoming, so I said, "Well, it depends on a lot of things - but at least nine months." He looked relieved and said, "Oh, okay, good. I want to make sure I'll have enough time to make a crib for my baby after I get married." See what I mean? An all-around good person.

This boy has been through a lot of trials in the last year and seen a lot of sadness and heartbreak. So the words to "My Wish" are especially meaningful this year, and I hope he knows that I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow

And each road leads you where you want to go.

And if you're faced with a choice and you have to choose,

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door opens to another door closed,

I hope you keep on walkin' 'til you find the window.

If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.

But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you

is that this life becomes all that you want it to

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small

You're never called to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to,

I hope you know somebody loves you

And wants the same things too.

Yeah, this is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but you never forget

All the ones who love you and the place you left

I hope you always forgive and you never regret

And you help somebody every chance you get.

Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake,

And always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, more than anything

My wish for you

is that this life becomes all that you want it to

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small

You're never called to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to,

I hope you know somebody loves you

And wants the same things too.

Yeah, this is my wish.

Dad

2011-09-14T14:26:00.000-04:00

Our family has lost a treasure.

He was a brilliant engineer.

He is one of about 4 people who can get away with still calling me Jenny.

He always complimented my cooking.

He loved me unconditionally.

He always told me I was beautiful.

He loved everything having to do with Kentucky - the Derby, basketball, Bluegrass music.

He was a calming force for my sometimes turbulent emotions.

He took me under his wing and made everything okay at times when my father and I weren't speaking.

He was an example of strength and manhood for my boys.

He understood me.

He told me he couldn't love me more even if I was his biological daughter instead of daughter-in-law.

He was the greatest man I've ever known.

With Bill Knight... I know it sounds trite, but Heaven's gain is definitely our loss. I wish I had one more hug.

Grandpa helped ordain Jake to the office of Deacon, October 2008.

Sammy with Grandpa on his baptism day, May 23, 2011.

He would like this caption to say, "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy."

He loved his farm, Kipling Pines. He loved red barns... so all the outbuildings on the farm are red.

Bill loved restoring old cars - on the day he died he had spent a lot of time in his barn working on an old Nova.

But his family was his passion.

Until we meet again... I love you, Dad.

It's Friday... but Sunday Will Come

2011-04-22T16:22:00.000-04:00

Two of my favorite Easter videos:

"The Story of My Life"

2011-03-29T22:34:00.001-04:00

The concept of "story" is a big one in my life. Working as a consultant with Heritage Makers, I have helped many people to preserve the stories of their own lives as well as the lives of their family members. I've seen wonderful and stirring stories. At church, the most effective talks (sermons) use stories to make a point or teach a principle - just as the best teacher of all, Jesus Christ, used parables to teach.

A few months ago, when looking around my congregation on a Sunday morning, I had the thought, "The most poignant and moving stories can't be told." We've lived in this area a long time and have seen friends and family endure trials and eventually triumph. Because the nature of what they've been through is so private and personal, these stories can't be shared publicly, which is a little unfortunate because the strength and faith these people has shown is inspiring.

After that thought, the next one was, "And so many here carry burdens that can't be shared or seen."

In the weeks since I had those thoughts, it seems that everyone else had the same thought - I read at least three blogs that referewe sang in church a few weeks ago, "Lord, I Would Follow Thee":

Who am I to judge another

When I walk imperfectly?

In the quiet heart is hidden

Sorrow that the eye can't see.

Then, in Sunday's "Music and the Spoken Word" the message was also about the unseen burdens that many carry:

Some problems are more obvious than others. When someone is clearly struggling, we are usually quite empathetic. We see them limp through life, and most of us readily help in any way we can. We may even make great personal sacrifices to ease their burdens.

Other times, however, the afflictions people endure might be completely invisible to the eye. Some struggles are silent; some burdens are carried privately. It may be an unhealthy relationship, a personal financial crisis, or physical or emotional pain. Whatever the ailments, these silent sufferers may smile and seem to be all right, but inside they are barely holding on—and doing so alone.

Perhaps we could be more observant. Maybe we should notice when hands clench with pain, when eyes glaze over with disappointment, or when cheeks are flush with embarrassment. Along with such subtle signs, we could pay attention to those quiet feelings in our heart urging us to help, even when others haven’t asked for help.

One woman recalls how a friend noticed that she had started hanging laundry on the banister inside her home. She never told her friend that her clothes dryer was broken; she did not want to explain that she did not have money enough to repair or replace it. But this observant and kind-hearted friend paid for a repairman to fix her dryer. As much as the woman was grateful to have a dryer, she felt even more grateful to have a friend who cared enough to look beneath the surface of her life.

Opportunities to help surround us, but they rarely come with engraved invitations. More often, they come with a gentle nudging in the heart, an intangible sense that we can help. As Saint-Exupéry’s little prince wisely observed: "The eyes are blind. One must look with the heart.”

We all have our untold stories that show our inner courage and strength. Some are going through those refining experiences right now. You never know who it is. For whatever reason I've become more aware of that lately and am trying to treat others accordingly.

** Confused about the post title? I've been doing song titles for my posts lately, just a silly little thing. In thinking of a song to go with "story" I thought of Neil Diamond's "The Story of My Life."

Sing Us a Song...

2011-03-22T18:00:00.003-04:00

... You're the piano man...

On a beautiful Saturday, we trekked up to Raleigh to Meredith College for the Young Artist Auditions. Sammy had prepared for this for MONTHS with his wonderful piano teacher Ms. Sharon. They had to memorize two pieces and play them in a small room with only the judges present. No teacher, no parents present. He had to walk in, hand the judges the music, proceed to the piano and play a warmup, then play his pieces from memory. We were ecstatic when Ms. Sharon called that night to tell us that Sammy had been graded as "superior." (Well, of course! I could have told them that...)

Sammy's piano skills have far surpassed mine at this point, and Ms. Sharon thinks he's pretty special too, but we like having outside validation of that. It was a great experience for Sammy. He's not someone who gets pressured about things - he just went and played and wasn't stressed out at all. I hope life stays like that for him.

Teenage Dream

2011-03-17T11:39:00.002-04:00

The stage of being a parent of teenagers is not the one that most parents look forward to, but I'm lucky: My son Jake is a dream. Sure, he battles some of the normal teenage boy issues that I won't go into here, but he is:

Friendly
Happy
Caring
Responsible
Loyal
Faithful
Thoughtful

And those are just a few of the adjectives that describe him.

Last Saturday, he blew us away. Spence had gotten up way early and left to run a 5K for his school, so just Jake and Sammy were home. Jake doesn't sleep in super late, so he got up with Sammy, fixed them both breakfast, got Sammy dressed in a weather-appropriate manner (Sammy dresses himself but not always weather-appropriately), and then he and Sammy loaded all the trash into Scott's truck for the weekly dump run. Then, he and Sammy woke us up and surprised us with their accomplishments. That's definitely not what many people expect from "these kids today" and I am grateful he's mine!

I love you Jakey-Snakey!

Jake at age 2. Cool, calm and collected even back then.
(And oh so cute, if I do say so myself.)

Yo Ho Ho

2011-03-04T14:00:00.004-05:00

(this post will probably only be interesting to family... sorry!)

(Fast forward to 1:00 in to get to the action...) Sammy's latest piano assignment was this song about pirates. So he put on his pirate hat and sang along. Cutest thing ever!

I'm the pirate of the North Sea,

I'm brawny and strong.

I'm the captain of my fine ship,

I sail all year long.

I've treasures from all around the world,

diamonds and gold!

I'm the pirate of the North Sea,

I'm brawny and bold!

Mom Brain

2011-03-03T17:33:00.000-05:00

Today I have been feeling a little under the weather (which is much better than I felt at 1 a.m.!) so I have been resting, which leads to thinking - not always a great combination!

I was noticing all the "little" things that need to get done around the house. Things that I would bet rarely cross a man's mind! For example:

Emptying the mini trash cans full of lint in the laundry room.
Putting away the heavy coats before spring.
Loading up a few bags of Sammy's old clothes and boxes of our old dishes to take to Guardian Angel.
Washing the blankets that we use in the TV room (teenage boy BO... nuff said!)
Dividing the daylilies
Putting pine straw in the flower beds around the house

Moms, how do we do it all?! We do the things like purchasing new pillows and cleaning under the couch and washing curtains and all the little things that mostly go unseen (until they go undone). Since I have 3 boys, I also keep up with all the outgrown clothes, deciding which to keep for the future and which to donate or give to friends who might need them.

Though I still have soooo far to go in being a great housekeeper, I have developed a couple of strategies for keeping up with things. For example, the hand-me-downs. We keep them in plastic containers in the attic, which gets to like 200 degrees during the summer (or basically from May to September), so I have designated the first Saturday in April and October to do the switch-outs. Fortunately that usually works with our weather patterns.

I take the winter clothes that the boys have basically outgrown (or that I'm fairly certain they'll outgrow before next winter) and decide whether I'm donating or holding on to them (or throwing away if it's that worn out). Donations go in a box, the keepers washed and folded and stacked. Then I get the summer clothes out of the attic that correspond with the size the boy is that year. Take those out, check it out to make sure there isn't anything too dorky in there, and place in the dresser. Use the bins that I just emptied to put the past winter's "keepers" in, then return to the attic.

I don't do this without help. As the boys grow in size, so do their clothes, so it's a lot of lugging. But since they're bigger too, they help with taking things in and out of the attic.

Over the years, I've found that they'll grow into/out of things during the season. So to keep my house from being full of clothes that are on their way in or out, I keep an empty plastic container in their room somewhere. As they grow out of something, I put it in there.

I'm sure you have strategies you've come up with in managing your household. Care to share any? :)

I looked out the window, and what did I see

2011-02-19T20:14:00.000-05:00

Grandpa and Sammy... ah, darn, I'm not a poet so I can't figure out how to finish the song!

"Grandpa, help me make a dunk!"

Great shot Sammy!

I was putting the finishing touches on Grandma's birthday cake last Sunday, and as I walked past the front door I looked out and saw the beautiful sight of Sammy and Grandpa peacefully playing basketball. Grandpa, a former "Mr. Burgin" and star of his high school basketball team (and that's big in Kentucky!) is helping Sammy out.

What a blessing to have them live next door to us. Sammy has seen grandpa almost every day of his life. I haven't always loved living out in the country or so far from my friends and family in California. But the relationship my children have with their grandparents is priceless and definitely worth it. I remember a few years ago on a road trip Spence and I were talking and he was telling me how Grandpa was his hero, and he wanted to be just like him when he grew up. Good thing it was late at night so Spence couldn't see the tears streaming down my face. I just can't put into words how grateful I am for their steady, loving influence in our lives. Basketball or no.

Coming Soon: Myrtle Beach Retreat

2011-02-17T15:10:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it's only a week until I get to fetch Chrysula from the airport and head to Myrtle Beach for our Power of Moms Retreat weekend. It's been on our minds for so long! The pre-retreat questionnaires from the attendees are rolling in and, as usual, I am inspired and intimidated by the quality of the moms attending. I know we are going to have great conversation (with tons of belly laughs included) and savor chocolate together.

We have a few spots left and registration ends Sunday night, so if you've been thinking about it - time to pull the trigger! In recognition of most people's lower post-Christmas budgets we've kept the early bird pricing in place.

Scott and I took Sammy and Jake down to Kingston about a month ago to do a little site and restaurant inspection. Though it was pretty frigid down there, it was fabulous to wake up to this view:

This is the view from the Embassy Suites hotel onsite at Kingston Plantation... our villa is directly behind it. So we may not have exactly this view, but we will be steps from it!

The beach in winter is so calming. Sammy and Scott stood there for a few minutes just watching the waves roll in. I didn't get a picture of it (!) but there was a whole row of dolphins that swam parallel to the shore. Pret-ty cool.

Scott was most excited by our assignment to check out restaurants for the Friday night dinner. We decided that the winner was Duffy St. Seafood Shack, just a five minute drive from the resort. It doesn't look like high dining, but - usually the best meals are found in local mom-and-pop joints, right? We found out that was true. The food is good, the menu a huge variety (soups, salads, pastas, sandwiches, fried fish, baked fish, chicken, beef) to choose from, the staff was friendly, the portions large... and did I mention that it was good??

After we enjoy eating a dinner that we didn't prepare, on real plates, with real silverware, and conversation above the level of Yo Gabba Gabba, we will return to the villa and take our time enjoying scrumptious desserts.

And for Saturday... repeat!

Gratitude: Community

2011-02-16T19:36:00.000-05:00

So, I drive a car with 180,000 miles on it, and we've been blessed that we really haven't had any mechanical issues with it. (It is a Toyota, after all.) But when you get to that number of miles, things happen. Lucky for me, I was about 10 miles from home instead of 25 miles away at work. I was making a left turn, and in the middle of the turn it felt like I ran over something huge and a tire popped. The power steering went out and the battery light came on. I think my heart stopped a little! I pulled over and assessed things, and figured some belt related to power steering must have broken.

Fortunately I was about 6 miles from a mechanic we have used for years:

If you ever need repair work done near Angier, NC - come here!

After talking to Scott we decided I'd try to drive the car there and keep him posted. After a few more miles, I saw smoke coming out of the hood and figured I needed to pull over. Horror stories flashed through my mind - I saw a video one time where people popped the hood in a similar situation and a small engine fire flared into a huge one! I didn't want that to happen to me so I calmly grabbed my stuff, including my work laptop, and stood in the field calling AAA. Then called Scott and told him where to meet me.

AAA towed us to Jeff Barnes and within a few hours my car was repaired at an incredible price! Jeff and his wife Susan, who runs the shop, are so helpful and will do everything they can to work a customer in.

So I am grateful for:

Breaking down (if I had to) close to home, where I could easily get help from my husband and others.
The two people who stopped to help me within 3 minutes of me pulling over.
The tow truck driver who was on his way back from another call and drove right by... so he wasn't too far when AAA got in touch with him.
A community of helpful people... of course, it helps that my husband has owned a business in town for 14 years and is the past president of the local Chamber of Commerce, so he knows most of the business owners and we've done business with many of them for years.

Seriously, if you break down in Harnett County you won't be stranded for long. We've got lots of friendly, helpful people! And our local business people value every customer. I am proud to call this place home.

Here's Your Sign

2011-02-14T16:26:00.000-05:00

Somebody has been learning a lot at school about gender differences and the appropriate restrooms to use. He's been putting this new-found knowledge to use around the house. The hall bathroom is "boys" and the master bathroom is "girls." Unfortunately for me, my office is right next to the hall bathroom so if Sammy sees me go in there I get scolded. Or if he sees Daddy go in the master bathroom he lets him know THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT BATHROOM FOR YOU!

But I'm leaving those signs right where they are... because in the scheme of things they won't be there very long, and then the season of my life as a mom of an elementary school boy will be gone forever. I'm holding on to it as long as I can.

What Do You See?

2011-02-02T22:37:00.001-05:00

Back in November I got to attend an incredible continuing ed seminar put on by The Arbinger Institute called "Leadership and Self-Deception at Work." The work done by Arbinger is life-changing in its application. I can't even begin to do it justice in a blog post, but one of the core concepts is that we see others in the world in one of two ways: as people or as objects. When we see others as people, they matter just as much as we do, they have dreams and hopes and feelings, etc.. When we see others as objects, we think of them as getting in the way, making us look bad (or good), having some kind of use, as something to fix... the list of ways we can objectify others goes on and on.

I had a great example of this the day after I attended the seminar. The seminar was in California and ended the day before a holiday, so I was able to stay an extra day and see my dad. When I left, I stopped by his office on the way to the airport to grab one last hug. Dad walked out to the car with me, and, as we were walking out, a lady wearing a custodial uniform walked by. He stopped and said, "Hey, Rosa, I want you to meet my daughter," and pulled her over. He introduced us and asked how she was doing, asked a follow-up question about something going on with her family, and then she left to go in the office. My dad has worked in management for my entire life, and yet he is on a first-name basis with someone on the custodial staff at work and asks about their family. And, he isn't doing it as a tactic or a people skill - he's doing it because he actually cares. As in the video above - it's not his behavior; it's his way of being.

I've thought about that scenario a lot since that day. Working in the same courthouse every week now, I'm asking myself, "Do I even know that bailiff's name? Have I bothered to look at the name tag?" Or the man who comes in and puts fresh drinking water in the courtroom every day... the security guards... the list goes on.

So, I'm working at being more cognizant of how I see others. When others know that I truly value them, it changes the relationship. Have you had an experience where someone - a coworker, teacher, friend, mentor - really valued you as a person and not an object? What difference did it make to you?

Gratitude: Being A Part of a Greater Whole

2011-01-16T19:58:00.001-05:00

Have you ever been a part of a cause or a group and found it personally rewarding, and then realized that you're just a small part of a greater group that brings great value to an even larger group? (can you even follow me after that? haha)

I received an email a few days ago that really touched me, because I realized that the small things that I am involved with in Power of Moms are part of a greater whole that is really affecting the lives of moms. And when you affect the life of a mom, you affect generations through her influence.

You might remember that back in October I was privileged to organize a Power of Moms Retreat up in New Hampshire. One of our attendees, Allyson, came all the way from Idaho with her sister-in-law to enjoy this Retreat and to experience fall in New England. She tells the story of what happened next much better than I could summarize, so I'm going to just post her message here:

Dear Power of Mom friends! This is an email I wrote a few days ago about our new adventure we are on. I wanted to make sure you all got it as you are the reasons we are doing this! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the words of wisdom and advice I received from all of you. It changed my life!
XOXO, Ally ps-my blog is now working-all you pro bloggers out there just ignore my kindergarten attempt:)

Dear friends,

We made it! It was a long trip, but I am happy to report that Charlotte and Ashton only cried once the entire trip over here-a miracle since they basically missed an entire night's sleep, were severely jet lagged, and had to wear the same clothes for 3 days.

I'll give a little background info for those who are just hearing about what we are doing. In Nov. I attended a Power of Moms retreat (highly recommend it-it was fabulous). One of the main things that I pulled away from the conference was that we need to be deliberate in the things that we want to teach our children. I have thought a great deal about what I want to be "deliberate" in as a mother. There are things that I have always wanted to incorporate into our family, but I never do anything about. Part of the reason is simply because I have been down in the trenches with babies, nursing, sleep deprivation, and moves. The other reason is because I have failed to sit down and take a moment to figure out how to implement it. If we are distracted in the day to day things, we let the long term goals go by the wayside.

I was reading an article called "How Will You Measure Your Life" by Clayton Christensen in the Harvard Business Review magazine. These particular lines stood out to me. "If you want your kids to have strong self-esteem and confidence that they can solve hard problems, those qualities won’t magically materialize in high school. You have to design them into your family’s culture—and you have to think about this very early on. Like employees, children build self-esteem by doing things that are hard and learning what works"

A little panic set in after I read that because while I still have a lot of little kids, my Samuel will be in High School next year. Half of his life I have been in bed sick with pregnancies:) He was amazing through it all, but I realized high school is just around the corner for him. That is when I took being deliberate seriously and Matt and I came up with our "bucket list" of parenting. On the top of our list was to have the children see a different side of the world-one that is a polar opposite of their itouch, xbox, homework filled, sport crazed, fast food on every corner life. Don't get me wrong, we love America, we are so grateful for all the blessings we enjoy, but we just wanted them to see what most of the children in this world live like.

After going through finances, it was a stretch, but we prayed about it and spent a lot of time thinking-weighing the positives and negatives and we decided to book it. 8 tickets to Thailand for almost a month. I don't know if I would have had the courage to do it except for a dear friend I met at the conference who sold their house and moved to South America for 8 months with her family. She said it changed their life. She gave me courage.

The children went door to door selling a hand sanitizer that my brother-in-law's company sells and they were able to raise money for the orphans (ownership of the helping the orphans). We gathered the many donations of items people brought over (thank you!) as well as the money, packed our bags, and we were off.

Korea was beautiful (and freezing)- our bags continued to Phuket, so all we had were what we had on. It was snowing, but the kids loved the Palace and many outdoor markets. New food, new culture, and definitely new smells. We had a lot of dry heaving going on.

Yesterday was our first day in the orphanages. The first one was called "Safe Haven" attached to the women's prison. They live in 2 rooms that are maybe 12 by 12 and there is no where to play outside. There were about 35 children all lined up in rows eating their lunch of rice and noodles. There was not an inch to spare in that room. They were about to take their naps, so we are going back today. We then drove to the "Holland House" orphanage. We were very blessed to find it-with the many little roads throughout the city, with no street signs, we had a tender mercy as we ran into a lady that drove us straight there...

This is the part of the story where every wonder of doubt we had over coming and spending the money disappeared into thin air. I have been up since 3 am thinking about the day we had yesterday. We walked into the small orphanage and the children were also eating their lunch. I watched as my children almost instinctively picked a child to sit next to and help feed them their lunch. Sam and Brandon took some of the little boys and played football with them with the BSU football they had brought. Ashton had no language barrier as he ran around playing with the other 3 and 4 year olds. Olivia was in her element as the children just wanted to be held and kept jumping in her lap and on her back. It was a true gift to be there experiencing this with our children. They loved it. The workers there who spoke very little English kept saying over and over again-"Children happy. Children happy." The children in the orphanage giggled and giggled, tackled the boys (they really are the same everywhere), and had such an amazing spirit about them. There really was a feeling of love there. They had about 4 workers who you could absolutely feel loved these children. Though some only had a t-shirt and underwear on with no shoes, they did feel love.

There was one little girl however that I can't get out of my mind. She is almost 2, but looked malnourished and half her age. She wouldn't move off of the helper's lap and she cried on and off the whole time we were there. I can't erase the sadness off her face. She is the only one who never engaged or even smiled. Through the broken English we learned that she had only been there 2 days. Obviously, she was dealing with the sadness of losing her family and being somewhere where she knew no one and missed her family. I kept thinking of that happening to my little Charlotte. Alone and confused as to where her family was. It was truly heartbreaking.

The children are so BEAUTIFUL. The Thai people are so gracious and kind. I had heard and read about how the Thai people loved and revered children, and it was no understatement. We are off to go back today and bring more items and head to the grocery store to bring food that they had on their list. They get a little government funding, but desperately need donations to survive. They had run out of diapers and while we were there 2 of the children had an accident as a puddle formed around where they were sitting. They were obviously wearing underwear before they were ready due to the lack of diapers. They were taken to a hose and hosed off and the floor was wiped down with the clothes they were wearing. Charlotte then played with the children right over the puddle with no shoes on. I had to swallow hard as the western part of me came through, but then I realized this was all part of the experience and I embraced it:)

Some of you have asked if there was anything else you could do or donate. The answer is yes, yes, yes! They are desperate for money to buy needed goods. They also said the children have not been on an outing to the beach or aquarium etc. in 6 months-which means they have not left the orphanage. An outing like that costs about 2000 baht which is about $70. Anyway, if you would like to help more just let me know.

We love you all! I will start posting on my blog, which I never write on, as soon as I can get it back to English. All the words to make a new post etc are in Thai. The blog is www.carefreetimelessness.blogspot.com.

Thanks for all you have done to help! xoxo Ally and crew

I am grateful to be a part of this movement - Power of Moms. When mothers get together and share their challenges and solutions, incredible things happen, as evidenced above. Not everyone will decide to take such a huge leap, but most attendees go home empowered to be deliberate, intentional mothers.

One of the things that is most remarkable about the Power of Moms Retreats is that the organizers and trainers aren't standing up there thinking they have all the answers and this perfect formula to raise your children correctly. There are principles and tips and tricks and systems that are taught, but the attendees themselves bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to the table. It is through each attendee sharing the good things from their experiences that we all benefit. Even if you don't think you have it all together as a mother (most women I know don't think they are even close to having it together) you can probably admit to a few highlights. Then figure on 30 other moms sharing their highlights... you've got a lot of good, inspirational nuggets and ideas to take home!

There are four Power of Moms retreats coming up this winter and spring. You deserve to attend one. It's an investment in your family's most precious commodity - you!

P.S. I am organizing the South Carolina and California retreats. I would love to see you there!

The "First" Christmas

2011-01-11T22:03:00.002-05:00

(Sorry, this post is going to be all about Sammy.)

I feel like this was Sammy's first Christmas. I know that he has experienced them all along, in a way, but due to his MERLD (mixed expressive-receptive language disorder) we haven't truly SHARED the holidays and he hasn't been able to share them with us in a meaningful way. That all changed this year. It was incredible to experience all the magical traditions and events with him, and for him to be able to talk about it with me. So much that I can't really put it into words! Other parents of late talkers... take heart. Your time will come.

The most meaningful part was being able to talk to him about what Christmas is really about. We have traditions that really reinforce that, but I wasn't sure what he really understood about it. Turns out, not much. I went over the story with him and he said, "But that doesn't make sense, Mom." At first I was a little puzzled but then I thought, if I were a real nuts-and-bolts, concrete thinker like him, it wouldn't make much sense to me either. What other birthday do we celebrate for a person who isn't there in the flesh? Especially one we haven't met (at least not that we remember). It is kind of a difficult concept. So I told him that lots and lots of people all around the world love Jesus so much that when it's His birthday, even though He's not there (I know He's there in spirit, but again, keeping it simple for the concrete thinker) we celebrate His birthday by giving each other gifts and trying to be Christ-like. He kind of nodded his head then like he was understanding. It just now occurred to me that he was probably wondering where Santa fit in this equation.

And we got to start participating in other "normal" holiday rituals as the month went on. Sammy performed in a formal Christmas piano recital. He sat with his fellow students, walked up and recited his few lines about Beethoven, and followed everything he had rehearsed with his teacher... with no help from us. Just marched right up there, put the book on the stand, sat down, played, took a bow, and quietly walked down the stairs.

For the family members that care (grin), here's a video:

And some pics:

He had just lost his top front tooth a few days before... he looks so cute!

Then, he really got in to traditions at the house. I had a few new holiday gadgets around the house, like Christmas countdown blocks and a new advent calendar. Every day, he made sure that we used them. I forgot to get good pictures of them before putting them away, but here they are:

The "No Humbugs Allowed" block is for Scott... :) And I had to explain to Sammy what a "humbug" is. The countdown blocks are all messed up because it's Christmas Day when this was taken, and there wasn't a "00" combination on the blocks. So he turned them crazy ways.

The advent calendar he made sure we remembered to do every day... and the tree that Sammy & I decorated.

I think Sammy's biggest love of the season, ironically, was:

And not just that version:

And, this version too (just the song... I don't let him watch Glee)

Seriously, the child MEMORIZED the Grinch song. "You're a bad banana with a (thump thump) a greasy black peel!" Or, "You're a triple decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich... with arsenic sauce!" He's still walking around the house singing it.

And he's still playing Christmas songs on the piano. I can't lie... I'm ready for him to move on to other songs, and come back to those songs next year.

I am so grateful that Sammy has progressed so well with his language and that the right professionals have been put in our path, who gave the right advice. What a blessing to really see the wonder of the season through a child's eyes... a child who is really understanding it all for the first time.

Christmas Day

2011-01-07T09:12:00.001-05:00

(I'm just trying to keep the spirit of Christmas around a little longer by being so late to post about it, haha)

I think the best part of Christmas morning was watching Sammy run out to the living room. He had his new Toy Story pajamas on and was so amazed that Santa came. Everyone got one "biggie" gift and a few smaller ones. Spencer's favorite gift was the Glenn Beck book, "Broke." Jake got a new cymbal for his drum set (it has some technical name that I don't remember) and Sammy got his beloved Garbage Truck Getaway Lego set - a Toys R Us exclusive so I had to hike up there to get it (oh the things we do for our kids!)

A little later in the day (not much, though, since we were expecting a snow storm and wanted to get the festivities completed and everyone back home before it began), Nana, Papa,Uncle Jeff, Aunt Skye, and baby Holly came to our house for Christmas dinner. It was so fun having a 1-year-old running around! Holly was in to everything but in a fun way. Well, fun to me since I'm the aunt, but I know Skye was exhausted by the end! I finally got to use my new dining room. My friend Layla (bless her creative heart!) helped me get the little berry picks around the light fixture in the living room. I made the little table setting cards.

But what was most meaningful you can't really see. I had all my family sitting around my Grandma's dining room table. We miss her so much but I am glad to have that little piece of family history in my house. We had so many holiday meals around that table. And it's not just the holiday meals that are memorable - it's the everyday meals, the times we played Parcheesi, the times I sat at that table with her as a teenager and talked about either a new love or a broken heart, the times she fed my children (even though it was Kraft mac-n-cheese, her specialty) at it. Now the table is in my house, and we can make even more memories with it - holiday meals, everyday meals, board games, homework somewhere to sit while we listen to Sammy's piano practice. I guess it's a little odd that an inanimate object means that much to me... but it's like having a bit of her here every day.

And then after everyone left, we got a good night's rest and woke up to this beautiful sight on Dec. 26!

The Value of Running

2011-01-04T19:32:00.000-05:00

This has been in my drafts folder for quite some time... but the lesson is just as valid now.

The first time I watched Forrest Gump that scene was more about Jenny, and how she was always in his heart no matter what was going on in his life. It's funny how we see in movies, songs, poems, scriptures exactly what we need at the time. We've had some pretty serious emotional and extended family issues going on for quite a while. They've taken their toll on us physically and mentally. When I caught the end of Forrest Gump during a week out of town for work in November, Scott and I were debating the merits of facing something head-on, talking everything out, laying all the issues on the table, or being accused of "running away." As I watched this, I remembered how earlier in the movie, Forrest had a pretty traumatic time in his life with his mother dying, then he thought he finally won Jenny's heart and she walked out on him. So he ran.

In running, not only was he physically away from all of the reminders of life before, he experienced God's creation in a way that most people never do. He had time to ponder all of these things. When he was healed, he stopped running.

I am not advocating just "running away" from difficult situations. But now I see the value of running... a time to experience God, a time to ponder, a time to heal.

(P.S. I know Forrest is a fictional character.)
(P.P.S. I know that I have referenced difficult times in a vague way on here or Facebook. Sorry I can't be more specific. But just so there's no wild speculation, everything within our home is fine. :) It's other issues.)

Canvases for a Cause

2010-12-10T12:51:00.001-05:00

Are you behind in your Christmas shopping? I've got just the thing for you!

Back in the spring I wrote about my college friend Shawni's daughter Lucy and her battle against Bardet-Biedl Syndrome, a disease that usually results in blindness. As a way to help raise funding for the Foundation Fighting Blindness, I set up a site selling gallery-wrapped canvases of Shawni's beautiful nature photography, with 50% of the profits going directly to the Foundation Fighting Blindness.

For the holidays, I'm offering an even better deal! Purchase one canvas, get one half off. Purchase by TOMORROW, December 11, and it will get to you in time for Christmas!!

And, it gets better... it's not just the canvases of Shawni's photography that qualify for this discount and charitable donation. Any canvas on the site... or any canvas you come up with in your little imagination using your own photos/artwork... is eligible. It just needs to be ordered by tomorrow night.

There are varying sizes of canvas from 8x8 to 24x20.

I'm so excited with a couple that I got this week:

18x18 deep gallery wrapped inspirational art canvas for my office

Three 8x8 canvases of my kiddos

Here are some from the site... the site where you want to go order a canvas :)

20x20 collage of some of Shawni's photos

8x8 canvas of fall streetlamp in Boston

See that collage? If you like one of the photos in it and want a canvas with only that photo on it... it can be done. Same thing with any of the collage canvases on the site. Just email me from the site and we'll go from there.

There are many, many more canvases listed... head on over there!

P.S. The pics from the site look a little fuzzy 'cause they're web shots... the real canvases are not fuzzy at all. They are quite beautiful and even have a UV coating to protect them from sun shining through the windows.

Grass Stains & Hol(e)y Pants

2010-11-01T14:10:00.000-04:00

Sam came home the other day with his pants looking like this - a hole in the knee and grass stains.

When Jake and Spence did this, I usually sighed or got frustrated.

With Sam, I smiled and asked, "Wow, what happened?"

"I played football."

"With the other boys?"

"Yeah."

Those years of wondering if he would ever fit in or have a normal childhood... gone with a glance at a pair of hol(e)y pants with grass stains.

Happy Halloween

2010-10-31T15:45:00.001-04:00

This year, Sam is the only one who wanted to carve a pumpkin and this thing was like spaghetti squash inside... it just kept coming apart. But we (or should I say, I) soldiered on!

He did NOT like touching the slimy insides, and I am too chicken to let a 7-year-old wield a sharp knife, so he drew the face on and I cut it.

Ta-da!

Then on Saturday afternoon we headed for the Trunk-or-Treat at church. We enjoyed a hot dog dinner and then games. Sam (a/k/a Charlie Brown) was pretty adept at the donut-on-a-string game.

I found out that even teenagers like the scarily artificially colored Fruit by the Foot.

The littlest trick-or-treater with her beautiful Mommy!

These guys are trouble FOR SURE! Watch out in a few years!

Scott always finds girl babies to cuddle wherever we go. He lova some Helaina! And I think he looks extra cute like this!

Now we are heading outside to have a bonfire with the in-laws to celebrate Dad's birthday. Hot dogs and s'mores! Yummm! Then we will be completely sugared out until Thanksgiving.

Powerful Moms!

2010-10-30T23:07:00.003-04:00

Many of you know that I have become involved with a fabulous group called Power of Moms as a retreat organizer and trainer. This group provides support and encouragement to moms kinds and offers "professional development" retreats where mothers can get away to be inspired, uplifted, and provided with ideas and systems to implement in their own homes.

Well, last weekend was our first retreat on the East Coast, held in New Castle, NH at the beautiful Wentworth-by-the-Sea... and WOW! I didn't get great outdoor pics, but Sarah did, so I just stole a few right off her blog.

Isn't this the cutest little fall display? They had enormous pumpkins, tons of mums, and beautiful landscaping.

This was the view from my suite Saturday morning. Love it!!

Most of the ladies attending really weren't sure what to expect. (Sarah had a great post where she was wondering if we would all be creepy internet stalkers!) A lot of women go into these types of situations judging themselves against the others (usually coming down on the "they're better than me" side) or judging others, and you may even have a drama queen or two or three in the group. I don't know if you'll believe me or not, but there was NOT ONE drama queen and I witnessed absolutely NO jealousy or weird back-stabby things going on at all. It was one of the best times of my life. I felt like I had been put in a room with 30 women who were already my sisters and I was just now meeting them.

We started off by playing a Speed Friendshipping game, which is similar to speed dating. We had about 45 minutes to do that as people were arriving and it was a super way to get to know at least a few tidbits about everyone and put names and faces together.

Saydi and Gretel "speed friendshipping"

Rebecca and Lauralee doing the same


Saren and Saydi presented on Family Systems.

After an afternoon of discussing ways to take care of the person inside the mom (wait, there's a person? She needs food? Occasional privacy? she has hopes and dreams? What?!?!) we headed to quaint downtown Portsmouth, NH for dinner at a restaurant. This town was all decked out for Halloween and was so cute. It was the quintessential New England seaside town.

Dinner off-site at the Dolphin Striker with fall-themed menus and goodies.

Dinner included table topics for discussion. I led the discussion on making time for romance in your marriage.

Later, back at the Marina Suite, we had hot chocolate and cookies and spent some time just getting to know each other.

Melissa, Emily, Saren and Suzanne swapping stories.

Saturday went by all too quickly. Saren and Saydi discussed family systems (legal, financial, and traditions), then after my "walking the balance beam" presentation we had a long lunch with table topics again. After lunch we went over the Mind Organization for Moms program (just a thumbnail... boy I love this program!) and sadly had to leave.

One nugget I took from this weekend (from Whitney) is the need for women to support and encourage each other. Lately the mom advice has been to not compare ourselves to others, don't read blogs and think that everyone else is so perfect and you're not, and that kind of thing. While that is totally true and correct, an even further application of that is to sincerely compliment each other in our strong areas. Like Allyson says (badly paraphrasing), "You're not always going to be the chocolate chip in the chocolate chip cookie. Sometimes you'll be the butter or the eggs or the vanilla." Find those "chocolate chip" strengths that others have and compliment them. As we all sat around that room Saturday we agreed that there were so many things we saw in each other that we found admirable. Don't let those compliments stay silent... tell them! And if you are complimented, say thank you instead of saying how it's nothing or not really that great.

We all took a challenge to sincerely compliment two people in the next week - via an email or letter. Find the things that we really admire about them and let them know. So I'm going to challenge my two readers to do the same. Let me know how it goes!

The whole group on the steps of the Wentworth. I miss you already!

You can check out my new friends' blogs - linked on the sidebar. And we would love to have you join us at a retreat next year! I have a few in the beginning stages of the works... one in the southeast US, one in the NC mountains, one in the northeast, and one for sure in Ventura, CA on March 18-19 of next year. Message me if you would like more information as it becomes available.

F-F-F-Flashback Friday: You're The One That I Want

2010-10-29T14:51:00.001-04:00

Ahh, what don't I love about Grease? (Well, now that I'm older there are actually a couple of things... but let's just not talk about that now. I want to indulge my guilty pleasure!)

Memories... I remember sitting in the back of my parents' AMC fake-wooden-panel station wagon at the Simi Drive-In watching this movie... over and over. Jeff & I got to bring blankets and sleeping bags and walk past the playground to the concession stand with our Dad. We thought that was the highlight of fun!

Then, I wanted to be Sandy. Bad thing is, so did my friend Jenny. So in the summer of '78 or '79 (can't remember) we played in Grandma's driveway and acted out Grease. We had this teeny tiny wading pool, the little $5 kind, that we splashed around in all day and sang the songs. As necessity is the mother of invention, one of us had to play the guy, because certainly our brothers Jeff and Mickey were NOT down with that. So we took turns (good rule-following girls that we were) and when Sandy & Danny had to kiss we would put our hands over our mouths and do a screen kiss (no, our lips never touched each other!!).

Then Grease was tucked away as a fond memory until I attended college at BU. It was the "thing" at the dance clubs of Kenmore Square to play songs from the soundtrack that we could all sing along to. This song, and Summer Lovin', were two of the favorites. So I heard this song last weekend when I was in NH (and sang along moderately loudly, much to Diamond's delight) the day after I saw my BU friend Pete, and it just became clear that this was to be my next Flashback Friday song!

I might have to bust out the DVD, and sing along for my kids' enjoyment. (big grin)

** EDIT: There is ONE Grease video I would loooove to see - my husband played Kenickie in his high school musical and, in the play Kenickie sings Grease Lightning. If anyone from Fuquay High has that video I will PAY to see it!!

Dining Room Project

2010-10-27T14:13:00.001-04:00

I've never had an actual dining room. Our house includes a dining room but I have always used it as my office. We have 5 bedrooms but we've done musical rooms throughout the years, and with homeschool and both of us working from home we've never had a problem filling the rooms.

The only problem with using the dining room as an office is, it's right off the kitchen. I had doors, but a mom can't just ignore whatever is going on in the rest of the house. Scott's office was safely tucked away upstairs, and coupled with a dad's ability to ignore screams and threats and irritations, he could get all kinds of work done. My office location, coupled with ADD and a personality that just can't stand little repetitive noises, made it where I could hardly concentrate.

The original paint from when we moved in 11 years ago... you can still see the nautical-themed wallpaper border. The paint is a very light yellow (with lots of dirt)

My old office...new dining room... right off the kitchen was regularly invaded by little people.

We had a beautiful guest room that was used maybe twice a year... and I decided it was time for that to go. Guests could sleep in Spencer's room and Spencer could sleep up on Sammy's top bunk on the rare occasion that we had an overnight guest. So I began moving my office to the guest room... across the house from the kitchen (yaay) with a big picture window. Why was I only using this room twice a year!? But that's another post.

Back to the dining room. First to go was the paint and wallpaper. Have I mentioned I hate stripping wallpaper? I had a great gel I purchased at the big orange store that really worked well, but it still took a lot of time and elbow grease. (I am not looking forward to taking down the kitchen wallpaper but YOU'RE NEXT, kitchen!!) I painted the dining room a beautiful sage green that will fit into my new whole house palette. (picture at bottom of post)

Furniture: The table we were eating at was a $300 special (including 6 chairs) that had since lost the chairs. (Boys broke all the backs off of them!!) So we have been using used medical office reception chairs my mom gave us for free (totally grateful for the free, don't get me wrong!! At least they have backs...) I remembered my grandmother's dining room table -I had inherited it, but it had fallen into a bit of disrepair over the years. I couldn't get rid of it, because it held sentimental value -- it was the table around which we enjoyed our Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter meals... so many memories! After examining the table I found that it had good bones, just needed a new finish.

I began that on a hot, hot day in August - I can still taste the sweat running down my face. When I'm determined, I will put up with all kinds of stuff!

Due to work schedules it took me a while to get it finished. I still don't have the chairs I'd like... but we had our first Sunday dinner in the new dining room a few weeks ago.

Not the best lighting in the picture, sorry... but the paint looks different depending on angle and time of day. The medical office chairs are the perfect complement!

And, of course, I already had the tablecloth on before thinking of the camera. So, coming soon - a picture showing the finish and my "new" light fixture (recycled via Marie)... and chairs!! Real chairs with backs!

It is so nice to have a real dining room. We put piano music on the Bose radio in the living room and it is just the right volume in the dining room. The way the dining room is situated, most of the rest of the house noises are shut out, so it's like our little sanctuary where we can eat and have good conversation with each other. And Sammy can keep us on our toes about manners. It makes me excited about cooking dinner!

Little Moments

2010-10-18T01:23:00.000-04:00

I sat in sacrament meeting today with Sammy on my lap, just the two of us on the pew for the first 20 minutes or so - Scott and Spencer were blessing the Sacrament, and Jake was passing. It turned out that Jake passed to us. As Jake handed us the bread, Sammy looked up at him with this adoring, admiring look. I wanted to freeze that moment and keep the feeling with me forever. I am so blessed to be the mom of these boys. Their hearts are good and they desire to do right. Sammy has a great example and friend in his brother Jake... and has since he was a baby.

I can't believe this was seven years ago!

F-F-F-F Flashback Friday: We Are The World

2010-10-15T10:11:00.000-04:00

Oh, XM '80s on 8, you take me back to places maybe I should forget. They have a little promo they play talking about "We Are The World" and one of the VJ's says, "It was like show choir for famous people." I have to agree, and with my current Glee fanaticism this song goes right along.

Another VJ says in the promo, "We tried to imitate all the different voices." No way! I thought Jill and I were the only ones! I remember racing to the boombox to hit "record" when KIIS-FM played the song so I could get it on cassette and then we would try to imitate each one. Stevie Wonder, Bob Dylan, and Cyndi Lauper were favorites.

Ahh, it all brings me back to such an innocent time when it seemed all was right with the world. I won't get into all of the reasons for that and what has changed because that would bring politics into an otherwise blissful memory.

On a side note, you can watch it and see how much younger everyone looks and enjoy the '80s hairdos.

Conversations

2010-10-10T00:23:00.000-04:00

I had a phone conversation with Scott on Friday, during my lunch. I'd been gone all week, so we hadn't had much of a chance to chat. Sometimes our phone conversations go more in depth than our face-to-face conversations. Here is a sample - probably not verbatim, but pretty close.

Scott: I think being grandparents will be better than being parents. I will be so happy that there is actually a girl that will marry our son.
Me: Which one?
Scott: Well, any of them. Any girl that will know them and still want to marry them and have their kids... man, I'll love her forever.
Me: (Laughter)
Scott: I mean, I'd probably choose her over them.
Me: Yeah, now you know how your dad feels about me.
Scott: (Crickets chirping...) Uhhh, yeah... (lightbulb going off in head)

No More Mommy Guilt

2010-10-08T15:24:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I went to lunch with a co-worker that I hadn’t seen in quite some time. She is a mother of two boys, ages 4 and 8, and she works full-time in the same field I do - as a courtroom based court reporter. It’s a field that can have you working 60 hours a week. Allyson had previously seen my Family Yearbook that I make every year and commented about all the activities that were documented in the book - “How do you have time for all of that?”

Well, one easy answer is that I wasn’t working full-time in 2009, the year of that family yearbook. Although I returned to a full-time job outside the home in June, I am finding ways to not let my children feel left behind.

I have given up on trying to be somebody else’s definition of a good mother or trying to be someone I’m not. As much as I’d love to have a home decorated neatly for each holiday, create my own Halloween costumes, or always have a sweet, quiet demeanor - I just don’t. And that’s okay! I have been thinking of the kind of mom I want to be, the kind of personality I have, and what my sons and husband enjoy - then I focus on growing in those areas. When I am feeling out of balance or troubled about something, I have a few guiding principles that I consider:

• Choose the highest priority.

That is one of those things we all know we should do but have a hard time doing. Sometimes when I am having a hard time in this area I think, “Do I value Sue’s opinion more than my husband’s?” Or, “So am I more concerned with disappointing Jane than disappointing my child?” Because, face it, when you have to choose a priority, likely someone is going to be disappointed. Even when you have to choose work or another obligation, you are choosing the priority of modeling responsibility or hard work for your child, and that is okay too.

•    Be my own best kind of mom.
     What I enjoy with my family may be totally different from what other moms do. My boys and I have our own band on Lego Rock Band and at the end of a long week we drag the instruments out and rock for a while. Right now we have assigned parts - Sammy on drums (no fail option), the two teenage boys on guitar, and me on vocals. It’s the only time they willingly listen to me sing! And they love how I dance around the room (okay, I may be kidding there) while we perform. It’s a dang good workout, and I know that we are creating lots of memories. I haven’t taken any pictures yet of this spectacle, and I am totally grateful for Photoshop so I can edit myself out of them, or at least edit a few of my chins out.

•    Jealously guard my family time.
      It is so easy to think we have to DO, GO, BE... there are so many opportunities for good or fun or service. Along with picking my priorities, I have to guard the time that I carve out for my family. Years ago, when my oldest (now 16) was about 7, I was reading the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens” (because reading books at a simplified level is just how I roll) and a principle contained in the book has stuck with me ever since. Whenever I choose to spend time in one area, I am choosing to not spend time in another area. It’s so obvious, but that way of looking at it really hit me. When I am choosing to ______________ (fill in the blank) I am choosing to not _______________ with my family.

•    Focus on what my family has.
      It’s been spoken of many times, but one of the pitfalls of reading blogs and Facebook is that we see the best of what everyone else has. And then we see the worst of what we have - and forget the many things that we should be grateful for. In my job I have to travel a lot and am racking up quite a few points with hotel reward programs. I plan to use those points for vacations that we could not otherwise afford - times when I can focus fully on my family. So those nights when I have to do family prayer by speakerphone (like every night this week, ugh) I think about what I do have and the reward I will have next summer.

By considering these 4 things, I can usually figure out where I'm going wrong and correct it.

What are your strategies for balancing work and family?

F-F-F Flashback Friday: They Might be Giants - silliness, history, and more silliness

2010-10-08T00:01:00.003-04:00

"They Might Be Giants" appeal to my nerdy instinct... really, my basic instinct. I think it was Ryan Duncan that introduced me to this song. Only one person would get the irony in that statement... who knows if she reads my blog anymore, though! (Secrets that are mutually embarrassing will survive the loss of any friendship, luckily)...

"Not to put too fine a point on it,

Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet

Put a little birdhouse in your soul"

And then there's James K. Polk, the "hero" of our AP US History class, due mostly to this song, 'cause really, who decides to revere James K. Polk? I guess since he was famous for the whole Manifest Destiny thing and we were in California we felt a little debt to the guy?

Austere, severe, he held few people dear
His oratory filled his foes with fear
The factions soon agreed
He's just the man we need
To bring about victory
Fulfill our manifest destiny
And annex the land the Mexicans command
And when the votes were cast the winner was
Mister James K. Polk, Napoleon of the Stump

Who knew that years later I would still be listening to They Might Be Giants, but with my toddler and singing and dancing along with him and Mickey Mouse?

F-F-F-F-Flashback Friday! (On Thursday)

2010-09-23T14:42:00.000-04:00

I decided to get back to my Flashback posts and do them on a Friday. I had the thought for this on Friday, and even loaded the video clip,but that's as far as I got - working in a long murder trial had drained me of all brain cells. So I am going to do it today...

A long car drive is the perfect opportunity to screen contenders for Flashback Friday. On the two-hour drive to Wilmington I was able to hear a ton, and even had pretty well decided on one, until I heard this song "Watching the Wheels" by John Lennon on XM25. To be eligible for a Flashback Friday, the song needs to be at least 10 years old and I have to have (what I consider) a cool or meaningful memory about the song.

My first memory upon hearing this song was sitting in my parents' bedroom, watching TV on a Monday night. The date happened to be December 8, 1980. My parents, children of the '60s, had been huge Beatles fans, and when the Breaking News came on that John Lennon had been shot, there was a big uproar in the house - mom crying, dad shocked, etc. They started playing montages of him and his songs, and this song was played quite a bit at that time. That has always stayed with me - images of John Lennon and his son with this song in the background.

Now that I have 3 boys of my own, the song takes on more meaning. Listening to the lyrics and being a little more aware of John Lennon's life and what was going on with him in the years prior to his murder, I see the deeper meaning. He got out of the "big time" and spent time "watching shadows on the wall." What a blessing that his wife and child were able to spend that time with him before his life was cut short.

None of us know how short or long our lives will be. Watch the video and see if you are not moved to tears (like I was) and resolved to spend more time enjoying the little things with your little ones.

When I watched Shrek the Third with Sam last night - because it was what he wanted to do - I cherished the opportunity to just sit and cuddle with him in a way I didn't a few days ago. I'm glad I got this little reminder.

What Happens...

2010-09-03T22:47:00.001-04:00

...when a group of sleep-deprived moms get together for a retreat?

Mindy and Valerie, my new friends from the St. George retreat, performed for us during the retreat. Who knows what craziness will happen in October in New Hampshire? We promise, we will have your permission before we post it on YouTube!

(I promise, we will be back to the regularly scheduled programming after today... I still have the Legoland post to do!)

Autumn Leaves

2010-08-30T20:49:00.001-04:00

(**UPDATE 9/2/2010** Get $20 off the retreat just by being one of my readers! When you register, just put that you are a friend of Jennifer Knight. Can't wait to see you there!)

I love New England in the fall. I was lucky enough to attend Boston University for two years and, to me, when the air shows the first hint of crispness it is time to pull out the penny loafers and head north. This year I am lucky enough to partner with Power of Moms to hold their first East Coast Retreat in... wait for it... New England!

We are staying at this beautiful place:

Wentworth-by-the-Sea, New Castle, NH

What does this have to do with you? Well, YOU (if you're a mom or grandma) are invited to join us in the fun! What I love about Power of Moms retreats is that it incorporates all of the best elements of a girls weekend (bonding, great food, laughter) with inspiring, uplifting and educational professional training for the most important career in the world... motherhood! No complaining, cliques, or backbiting here. I attended the inaugural Retreat in St. George back in June, knowing no one, really, and came away with a bunch of new friends. Came away feeling better about myself as a mother, armed with lots of information on how to help my home run a little more smoothly, and with a renewed determination to show my family each day how much I love them.

If you are one of my friends in NC... if you hurry you can score a flight from RDU to BOS for about $98 roundtrip. New Castle is an hour north of Boston... and right across the water from the outlets in Kittery, Maine. So you can do the shopping part of the girls weekend too!

If you read a lot of mom blogs, you are probably aware of the insanely popular blog Clover Lane. Sarah, the mom behind the blog, is our keynote speaker for the Retreat. And since we are limiting attendance to 35, you will get plenty of chances to ask her anything you want!

Here are the Retreat topics:

Family Systems that Work: Family Rules, Family Economy, Family Identity
Taking Care of the Person Inside the Mom (you can't draw water from an empty well...)
Being Enough (being your own best kind of mom and accepting who you are)
Living with more Purpose and Progress - and Less Stress (based on our Mind Organization for Moms program)
Picking your Priorities (deciding where to put your time and efforts and finding balance)
Mealtime Table Topics: photography tips, capturing teaching moments, dealing with the hard days, and more as determined by the interests of those who register (we'll be asking you what you're most interested in and putting together table topics accordingly)

To register, click here. Early bird pricing ends August 31!

Traditions

2010-08-27T13:55:00.000-04:00

Our First Day of School tradition is pictures on the front steps. We have done this since Spencer was in kindergarten. Even though he's in college it's nice to have him around for pictures with the younger guys! I didn't mean to ignore the older guys yesterday; I felt Sammy's first day of public school deserved its own post.

Spencer - sophomore in college (CCCC)

Jake - 8th grade at Harnett Central Middle

Below - I was asking them to just talk to each other and act natural.

They started spouting lines from episodes of Psych.


All together now: Spencer, 16; Sammy, 7; Jake, 13

The Big Day

2010-08-25T21:37:00.000-04:00

I'm so excited to start my new adventure. I still have the cream cheese from the bagel around my lips, but that's OK.

To Infinity, And Beyond!

C'mon, Mom, aren't you ready to take me yet?

Slightly Tardy

2010-08-24T14:40:00.001-04:00

Yeah, we've been back from vacation for over 3 weeks now, and I'm just now getting pics on the blog (Facebook friends - this is old news for you).

We logged over 1600 miles in our rental car in just over a week. I think Scott's still having heartburn over the fuel bill. Today I'm going to focus on one day of our trip - Disneyland! It was a day to let the rest of the world fade away and just enjoy each other. The lines didn't even get us down. We just soaked it up.

This picture is just so symbolic of their relationship. Sam just jumps up and has faith that we're all going to be there for whatever he needs. Look at that grin! And what awesome brothers he has.

Child abuse!

Seriously, he looks so cool walking down Main Street USA in his Disney shades, sippin' a Dew. We brought lunches - the food there is so greasy and expensive - and still had Mountain Dew left from when Scott was with us. So we took that (saving money, gotta love that, huh?) We couldn't let it go to waste, so I let Sammy finish it. Let me be clear that Mountain Dew touches his lips MAYBE twice a year. So he was loving it. And drinking it quickly, lest "real mommy "return and snatch it away from him.

And here we were about to board California Screamin', a coaster that does a loop-de-loop and all kinds of fun things. Sam was tall enough to ride all the rides with us... and he did! He is not very expressive, so many times he would just sit there quietly through the ride. At the end of the Indiana Jones ride I wondered if he had enjoyed it, and when he grabbed my hand and said, "Mommy, this is the best day ever," I had my answer! By the time we rode California Screamin', though, he was starting to get the hang of the expected roller-coaster-riding behavior. As the coaster plunged down from the top, he started saying, "Wooo!" (3 second pause) "Wooo!" (3 second pause.) And continued that throughout. He will be a pro by the time he is 12!

Spence & Jake give Grizzly River Run Rapids two thumbs up! (While trying to look cool... which makes them look pretty unenthusiastic.)

Next: We take on Legoland!

Positively Focused

2010-08-10T11:40:00.001-04:00

I have been playing the Bloom Game through Power of Moms for about a month now (excluding vacation time) and I love how it asks me to look for "Serendipity Moments" during the week. Sometimes I emphasize the challenges or issues in life over all the other thousands of times that things go right or unexpected blessings occur, and this helps me to shift my emphasis. During my first week I had a huge serendipity moment that has really helped shape my summer.

For most of my life my relationship with my father has been not what I wanted it to be. Over the years I had different ways of dealing with this - anger, sadness, rebellion, seeking for approval of not-so-worthy guys, and acceptance. I thought with the acceptance role - accepting that what he gives me is what he is capable of giving and not looking for anything more - I had achieved relationship nirvana. But I learned this isn't so. There is a step beyond that.

On the first Sunday of each month, our church has what we call testimony meeting. Any member of the congregation can get up and bear their testimony of Christ. Our bishop was going through a particularly rough time that day and was talking about how Christ comforts us. You see, the bishop's mom, who had been a healthy and happy woman, had unexpectedly become ill and was clinging to life in the hospital. He talked about the intense pain that she was in due to her illness and how tough it was to see her like that.

My mind flew back to a time in 1988 when I was in a similar situation. I was living with my grandma and my parents had recently separated. My dad lived in the next town with his girlfriend, and my mom (grandma's daughter) had moved to North Carolina. I came in one Sunday afternoon to find my grandma had fallen at the mall and broke her kneecap. She had surgery a few days later, and what was supposed to be an outpatient procedure became more. My dad and Barbara came to the hospital to be with me, and we were all in the room when gram came out of the anesthesia. As she came out of it, she screamed in pain and was crying. I had never seen anyone, especially someone I loved more than anything, in such pain, and at 16 I couldn't handle it. I ran out of the room and cried in the lobby. My dad and Barbara gently took care of grandma while I couldn't. As my bishop related his experience, I remembered the gratitude I felt all those years ago as my dad stepped in and did what I couldn't bear.

Then I thought of another time my dad had really been there for me. I was raised in the LDS Church, and raised to be married in the temple to a faithful young man. My parents were not attending church by the time I was engaged, and were not able to be in the temple with me. I was married in the Washington, DC temple, and my dad and Barbara flew all the way from Los Angeles to Raleigh, then drove five hours with me to DC, so they could sit in the lobby and wait for me. They were very excited to see Scott and I exit the temple and greeted us with hugs, tears, and kisses. It had been difficult to be in the sealing room with Scott's family but not mine. How grateful I was that they were there to meet me.

As I related this to Scott on the way home from church, I said, "Why do I focus so intensely on the negative things that have happened instead of these wonderful times? I would be so much happier if I would focus on this." He agreed that I would.

So I decided to change my focus to remember the GOOD things that people do. And good thing, because we were scheduled to visit my dad just a few weeks after that moment. What could have been a strained gathering was instead a joyous occasion as we built our relationship, and as my boys got to enjoy grandpa.

Here we are visiting the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library. Positively focused!

Blessings

2010-08-08T23:18:00.000-04:00

Spencer with Nana & Papa

Spencer is so blessed to have three great sets of grandparents. Here he is with Nana & Papa (my mom & step-dad) when they came over yesterday to celebrate his birthday. They have always been at his games and other events to cheer him on. They keep up with his life and what he is interested in and are there to help him with just a phone call. Spencer definitely doesn't take them for granted and looks for ways to help and serve them.

Our whole family is blessed by Nana & Papa, especially in the past few weeks with Papa's air conditioning expertise! He has saved us a few thousand dollars by helping Scott maintain and fix the unit... and kept us from going crazy in the super hot NC summer.

Thanks, Nana & Papa for all you do!

Power of Moms Retreat

2010-06-16T17:31:00.003-04:00

What a super weekend I had out in St. George... the shortest trip ever, I think! I landed at 9:30 a.m. Pacific time on Friday and took off again at 10:35 p.m. Saturday. In between I made 29 new friends! OK... well, I already knew two of them, so technically 27 new friends and saw two old ones. I also learned a TON about organizing my mind (Mind Organization for Moms... life-changing!) and implementing family systems that work from the master, Linda Eyre . Read more about the weekend and see pictures on April's blog (www.powerofafamily.blogspot.com) and Saren's blog (www.looslifamily.blogspot.com).

Also, check out the Power of Moms site! I love the inspirational articles that help bond moms together, and the Bloom game (why waste time on Facebook games when you can play a game that helps you grow as a mom and person?) and the how-to's of Mind Organization for Moms.

I am planning two retreats on the East Coast this fall - one at the Grande Dunes resort in Myrtle Beach on Sep 24-25 and one in the Massachusetts/New Hampshire area on October 22-23 (both dates tentative but pretty firm). It is a perfect girl's weekend! Let me know if you are interested in attending one.

Whoops, They Did It Again

2010-05-09T22:48:00.004-04:00

My guys topped last weekend! Can you believe it? They usually don't make a big fuss over Mother's Day, so I have low expectations (I think that's part of the plan.).

So Friday evening Scott & I crossed paths as I was returning from the grocery store and he was leaving to take Jake on a father/son date. I was unloading all the stuff into the refrigerator and saw a box that said "Sherrie's Berries." Hmm. A card was on it. After a minute or two of internal debate I opened the card and it was the sweetest Mother's Day message ever from my hubby! Then I opened the box, and look what I found!

Okay, well, that picture was taken a few hours later after I dug in to one of the berries... very delish! When I opened it, I quickly called Scott and confessed my crime... but he knew I would find them and was cool with it. They were a great midnight snack/Saturday morning breakfast!

After I unloaded the groceries, I ran out to pick up Domino's Pizza for me, Spence, Sam, and my friend Layla and her girls. When I walked back in the kitchen, look what I found!

Spencer had put this beautiful bouquet of roses out for me! Wow! Flowers and chocolate... score!

I figured that was all for Mother's Day... even though I had stealthily printed out a list and "accidentally" left it in Scott's printer, I was okay... no, thrilled... to have these instead. So imagine my surprise when all of them bounce into my room this morning bearing gifts from the wish list! A CD by Dallyn Vail Bayles, "The Hidden Christ" by James Ferrell, and a vanilla candle. The vanilla candle wasn't on the list, but was something Spencer purchased weeks ahead of time with his own money. It might not sound like much, but for a 15-year-old boy to do that means a lot to me!

And, I got lots of hugs and kisses today, especially from Sammy, my cuddle bug. Jake even let me give him a full hug instead of one of those one-arm-over-the-shoulder hugs! (Shh, don't tell his friends, it'll ruin his rep.)

Even though it's supposedly a day for people to celebrate their mothers, I am just enjoying BEING a mother today! It's my biggest dream, something I always thought about growing up, and I am amazed and blessed by the children Heavenly Father gave me.

Pure Joy

2010-05-02T16:42:00.002-04:00

What a great day we had yesterday, filled with joy from each of our children.

First, we got to see Sammy's season-opening T-ball game. He was so enthusiastic, after he had his turn at bat, he grabbed his glove and went out to the outfield with the opposing team! (I think that was the routine they had them doing in practice, so he was just doing as he was used to.) The cutest little girl on the other team batted and ran straight toward 2nd base, through the pitcher. So precious!

Then, we went as a family (including grandparents) to Sammy's piano recital. Sammy just started taking piano lessons in mid-January of this year and has already completed two lesson books. His teacher is amazed by his photographic memory and innate skill at piano (getting the right tempo and smooth key movements). We were also pleased that he sat still (mostly) with the other students during the recital. A highlight was when another student was playing the Chicken Dance and Sammy kept saying, "bock bock bock bock bock bock bock, bock bock bock bock bock bock bock..." and on, and the little girls dressed as ballerinas were looking over at him like, "Do you have no class?" He just smiled and kept doing it. They kept giving him the look.

So, for your Twinkle Twinkle Little Star viewing pleasure, here is his performance:

Then the other boys amazed us too. Jake went to a yard sale in the neighborhood while we were at the T-ball game and bought a little book of classic children's stories (Sammy is really into those right now) and gave it to Sammy as a gift upon his first recital. How thoughtful! And after the recital when we stopped at the grocery store, Spencer purchased treats (Kroger brand Oreos and A&W root beer) to share with Jake. I like seeing these random acts of kindness among the boys. It makes me think I haven't messed EVERYTHING up!

Here's to more Saturdays like this!

Conversations With a 6-Year-Old

2010-04-28T10:48:00.002-04:00

As I'm drinking my delish strawberry/banana/kiwi smoothie:

Sammy: "I need some strawberry shake."
Me: "Okay, I'll get it." (Pouring smoothie.) "Do you have your straw?"
Sammy: "I don't have it. I can't find it. Buzz Lightyear isn't a space ranger. He's a toy. A child's plaything."
Me: "Okay. Enjoy your smoothie."

Now he's listening to "boom boom, ain't it great to be crazy" on the Veggie Tales CD.

Yep. Sure is great to be crazy!

Live and Learn

2010-04-14T21:37:00.000-04:00

April 14, 2002 - Jeff, Skye, Jake, Donnie, Spence & Jen

April 14 is a very special day - the day of my Grandma Dorothy's birth. Though she passed away almost six years ago, I still think of her on her special day. One reason for this is I can't think of the word "birthday" without thinking "Gram." She made sure all of our birthdays were special. And, here in North Carolina, her absolute favorite things are blooming: camellias, azaleas, and dogwoods.

I have one funny memory I want to share and then a few lessons I have learned from this magnificent woman.

I mentioned how she loved camellias. When I was growing up in the Los Angeles area, she tried to create a bit of a southern garden in our backyard. This resulted in huge water bills and lots of yards of screening purchased from the local garden center. So when she moved to North Carolina she was just overjoyed that all of this grew naturally. She would almost run off the road because she was so distracted by the beauty of springtime in NC. The apartment complex she lived in for years gave her permission to plant azaleas and camellias in the natural areas under the pine trees, and she probably spent hundreds of dollars beautifying it - but it was an investment to her. Gram was so sweet and kind... but there was a little vinegar reserved for anything... and I mean anything... that got in the way of the things she loved. Not just her family, mind you, but her gardening too. So, you had to pity the poor animals that loved to dine on her camellia buds! She would call me talking about the "damn squirrels" that ate her camellia buds. I think most years she didn't have many because they got eaten... so she would throw things at the squirrels! Can you imagine this sweet old lady chucking pine cones or whatnot at the "damn squirrels"? If you didn't know her it's probably not as funny... sorry! (and sorry for the language, but if J. Golden can get away with it, so can I.)
So, what are a few nuggets of wisdom I learned from Gram?

Fashion Comes First.

From the time I could talk (and before) Gram was all about the clothes.
This is a picture of Jill and I during one of our "back to school fashion shows"
that Gram had us put on as kids. Even though Jill is a year younger she looks
like the cool older sister while my hair makes me look androgynous.
Gotta love the '80s feathered looks and whatever those stupid zipper sweatshirt
things were. But I digress...

Just Being There is the Biggest Present

I used to just hang out at Gram's house as a kid.
We watched TV.
She drew on my back with her finger and made me guess what she was drawing.
We sat on the back porch swing.
Lord knows we never cooked. I learned that elsewhere... haha
I don't have pics of she and I doing those things, but I did snap one
of her and my two older boys all on the same recliner,
watching a movie.
They loved that time with her as much as I did.

Road Trips Rock

Maybe I can blame my wanderlust on Gram?
We drove cross country together, twice.
I-40 and I-70.
She made me flash my legs at truckers to get them to honk the horn.
We (I) sang along with The Little Mermaid soundtrack once a day.
Complete with facials, gestures, and accents.
We stopped at all kinds of cool places and got trinkets.
We stopped in See's Candy in Denver and kept the chocolates in a cooler.
This pic was in Boston when she came to pick me up from my freshman year at BU.
We had to call the state police in Pennsylvania to put an APB out on her car,
because she "decided to take a tour" (a/k/a GOT LOST) in Amish Country.
She got to my dorm almost a day late and we were worried sick.
Now, I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing if given the chance!

Support Your Kids' Dreams

Gram attended all of the events her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids were in.
(As long as she was in the area... or reasonably close...)
I loved how my kids always had a large cheering section at their events.
We were always the smartest, fastest, most talented ones out there,
at least in her eyes.
And because she saw that in us, we believed that we could do whatever we put our mind to.

I love you Gram! Thanks for teaching me about unconditional love and support.

What's Your Sign?

2010-04-11T21:49:00.003-04:00

At what point do you realize that the Zumba fitness craze has become a little too popular in your house?

Is it when you ask your 6-year-old what he learned in church today and he brings you this paper:

If you can't read it, it says "Zumba Fitness Basics"
and the people are doing various Zumba moves.

Or is it when, a few weeks later, the same child stands up on the pew during the intermediate hymn and does the "booty circle"? (Sorry, no photo provided of that one!)

In The End

2010-04-07T20:31:00.000-04:00

In reading blogs, Facebook, etc., lately, I have realized how much women compare themselves to one another. I have been reading a lot about motherhood and, really, do men have anxiety about their fathering skills? I think not. Do they sit around and think, "Wow, George is just so THERE for his kids, and I am just a failure"? I guess maybe deep down they do... but they don't devote books to it! Just a little thought about our tendencies to compare and compete with each other.

Talent is an area where I think we sometimes compare. We (okay, maybe I'm talking about myself here) will look around at someone who is accomplished in a particular field and think, "Yeah, I could do that too, if I hadn't chosen this other path" - meaning, motherhood or being home with my kids. As if that is a lesser choice. And maybe sometimes we even yearn for that recognition and status that would come with this worldly reward.

I had these thoughts swirling through my brain (because there are always a billion things swirling through my brain) the other day when I stumbled upon this cute video on my friend Paula's Facebook page. Paula and I had children at the same time... only it was her third and my first. Her husband was a student at Campbell Law and we were in the same ward together for a time. I tried to link it here, but I couldn't... it's of her older son Spencer playing the piano and singing Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" - and her younger son Benson joins in on some of the high points. Adorable and talented!

So, of course I commented on said talent and adorableness. Then as other people's comments came through my email, I saw one from one of Paula's relatives that brought me to tears:

"And the legacy lives on through another generation......

I often think about Pa giving up a truly promising musical career to marry Mama and give each of us a good family life; Then I marvel as I have watched so many of his descendants become talented musicians.
It's as if, Daddy's sacrifice for family has been rewarded with an eternal song."

Wow! Talk about a paradigm shift. Mind bend. A testimony to me, and all who sacrifice earthly rewards for something higher, that our efforts will not be in vain. Our children are watching us. Even if we aren't using our talents for "pay," we can pass them along. They will magnify them. And our sacrifice will be rewarded with an eternal song.

It's In The Blood

2010-03-20T09:33:00.003-04:00

I guess being an entrepreneur runs in our blood. Between Scott and I we currently own three businesses, and Scott also works with his parents on the alpaca farm. So it is only natural that our children become entrepreneurs too, right?

So, Spencer is turning 16 in a few months and is eager for the freedom that comes with that... but he is learning that freedom costs money! Yesterday he started his business, "Mow Better Lawn Care" in our area. He has a brand new lawnmower that he will be using to mow lawns in the subdivisions near us (Ballard Woods, Victoria Hills). His prices are very reasonable, he has years of experience mowing, and he will even set you up on a schedule throughout the summer so you don't have to think about it.

I am so proud of him for his initiative! He has a business plan and will be making payments on that lawnmower so he gets the true business owner experience. AND he won't be running to us for any money! Woo-hoo!

Wish Us Luck

2010-03-07T18:10:00.005-05:00

Spring is almost here in North Carolina - a beautiful 60 degree day today! Lots of sunshine. Thoughts are turning to flowers and vegetable gardens. Before that, we have a few little "projects" in the Knight household. All courtesy of my new favorite blog:

www.knockoffwood.blogspot.com

Ana, the totally talented, pink-tool toting blogger, creates plans similar to items found in Pottery Barn, West Elm, Restoration Hardware and other places. Lemme tell 'ya, Pottery Barn has always been a place I walk through and drool, knowing that there is NO WAY I will ever have any of it in my home. But since my husband and father-in-law build all kinds of stuff, including our house, and have tons of woodworking equipment, the do it yourself option is one we can actually use!

We are currently homeschooling Sam and want to have a dedicated homeschool room. We have a guest room that is rarely used so we are going to convert it to homeschool. And wouldn't 'ya know, while I was browsing through an old issue of Real Simple today there was a feature showing a reorganization of a play room that looked PERFECT! And the most perfect part was the Pottery Barn Cameron wall system... and I found knock-off plans at knock off wood!

But first we will have to deal with the bedding situation. There is a queen sized bed in that room now that will be relocated to Spencer's room. Since Spence doesn't have a dresser right now, I thought this bed would be perfect (minus the girly accents):

I am not under any delusions that his room will look as nice. We have to include the Peyton Manning fathead, Hurricanes and Tar Heels pennants, etc., to get the true 15 year old boy aura.

Then we will move the twin bed that's currently in Spence's room to the playroom (to be homeschool room) so we will have a small spot for visitors. This daybed plan is from the same set as the queen sized bed. I love that it will have storage and not need a boxspring.

So, there you have it. That is what we will be doing in March. Then I have a list of about 20 (okay, probably 10) other projects to make off of this website after we get our spring planting done.

Almost forgot to circle round to the title line of the post - most home improvement or construction projects at the Knight homestead have included blood, sweat, and tears. Actually, ALL of them. There was the time that my husband shot the nail gun on one side of the wall, and the nail came about 1/2 inch from going through my father-in-law's eye. There was the time my father-in-law fell off the ladder while building the barn. And it's not limited to the Knights - my dad sawed off part of his finger with a circular saw while building a covered patio deck. Wish us luck with these projects that we will have all limbs and other body parts intact at the end!

Nashville Update

2009-12-01T10:00:00.004-05:00

Sammy and I traveled to Nashville, TN (not to be confused with Nashville, NC) on Sunday for an appointment with Dr. Stephen Camarata on Monday morning. The Thanksgiving weekend traffic made for a long drive and increased my gratitude for the little invention called "Portable DVD player." Thanks also to Zachary and Nana for the new movies Sam was able to watch on the way! The child watched six entire movies on the drive before passing out between Knoxville and Nashville!

Sam originally visited the Camaratas in July 2006, when he was 3 years and 2 months old. He had a total of about 10 words in his expressive vocabulary. He tested in about the 2nd percentile in all of his language-based testing. They did enough of an intelligence test (Leiter-R, I think?) to rule out retardation, but couldn't max him out on it because of his steel will and dislike of the testing process. (The steel will comes from the Knight side of the family, I guess! haha)

Since we have followed the original recommendations of the Camaratas, we have seen tremendous progress with Sam. He has never had formal speech therapy or any services provided by anyone but Scott and I. At times we have heard criticisms of this or gentle, "Do you think maybe..." kind of statements but we are grateful that we have followed our gut with him.

The gist of what we heard from the Camaratas yesterday is that academically Sam scored in about the middle of 2nd grade in everything. If he were in public school, he would be in the 3rd month of 1st grade, so he is definitely okay as far as learning goes. The only area in which he still has a delay are the areas that are totally verbal based, such as story recall/retelling and following complex verbal directions. I don't have all the results of the testing in front of me, since they will come in a formal report in about a month, so I am going off the memory of what I saw. So anything that is a highly verbal skill, he is still at more of a preschool level.

Another positive part of the report is that he is gaining language skills at a faster rate than he is growing chronologically; in other words, he is narrowing the gap. That means that he will eventually catch up with where he should be language wise. He will always be a visual learner, but should otherwise be indistinguishable from his peers.

Dr. Camarata went to great lengths to emphasize that nothing Scott or I had done or not done would have caused the mixed expressive-receptive language disorder in Sam. Nothing in prenatal care could have prevented it, that they know of. Nothing in the way we raised him or the environment in our home... nothing. He also said that we are seeing the outcomes we are seeing with Sam precisely because of the way we are dealing with the problem - naturalistic therapy and homeschooling. He encouraged us to continue homeschooling for the foreseeable future, because most public schools are highly verbal... and because Sam is an active boy who has a hard time sitting still (totally normal), the combination of those two factors would likely lead to an unhappy time for him. Basically, if it's not broke, don't try to fix it.

I got sweet validation when Dr. Camarata said, "The reason Sammy is doing so well is because of you and the things you do with him." I felt a little guilty receiving the praise because a lot of times I feel like I am not doing enough for him. He spends a lot of time playing his learning games on the computer... but that is one of the things that has helped him since it is visual. He did give me a good idea that I am going to implement. Some days, but probably not every day, take pictures of the things we are doing throughout the day. Then upload it on the computer and mix them up. Talk with him about the things we did during the day and have him put the photos in the correct order. This will help build his story recall.

As far as socialization, the Camaratas didn't feel like we needed to do any activities specifically for socialization. Sam plays rec league sports and goes to church activities every week with other children his age, and he has siblings and cousins around, so he has plenty of interaction. He loves playing with other children and is becoming more social every day. Most of his lack of social activity has been because of his language delay. It's hard to interact with people when you don't understand what is going on. Now that he is understanding more, he is interacting more. Right now we are staying at Scott's cousin's house in Knoxville and she has 4 children. One is a little older than Sam and then her youngest, Adam, is 3 and a half. Since everyone else is in school today, Sam and Adam are having a blast together! Sam will walk around calling Adam's name and asking him to come and play. It is music to my ears!

I hope this gives our friends and family enough information for an update - my brain is fried from all the driving and the information overload yesterday. I am just pleased to have backup of what I already knew to be true for Sammy. I am grateful to be at the place where I know he is going to be just fine after years of worry.

New Post... What Should I Say?

2009-11-10T09:55:00.007-05:00

Should I be witty? (like that will happen) Or Serious? Or emotional? Or sarcastic? Ahh, who knows. I will let Sam (above) give a brief run-down of what has been happening at our house.

In mid-August Spence & Jake went back to school. I am so glad. Now I get mom and dad to myself during the day, and I can build Lego Indiana Jones without interruption. I can also go in their rooms and blast their Nerf guns and play with their toys without being hurried away. And mom usually gets me treats when we go places, because she doesn't have to buy for three of us. That is why I have the biggest smile in our 1st day of school photos. Sure, I have to do my Jump Start learning software and my workbooks, but I get that done fast to get to the real work. Creating my own Temple of Doom out of the bajillion Legos I walk over in my room.

Jake went back to public school, and I think he likes it because he hangs out with his friends Ben, Andy, Christian & Zachary, and there are some cute girls there. At least that's what he tells me. Then he comes home and plays drums and listens to loud music in his room. His voice sounds a little squeaky lately. Mom says it's changing? Whatever that means.

Spencer looks excited to start college! He is a freshman at Central Carolina Community College, which is close to our house.

And while they're gone, I get to be mommy's buddy. We have gone to the pumpkin patch, made cookies, carved a jack-o-lantern and made lots of Lego sets. I try to be quiet and sneak on the computer to play games on the Lego website but somehow she always finds me.

When I am not doing that, I love music, and especially Journey. I think I am going to be a rock star someday.

Facebook

2009-10-20T18:35:00.002-04:00

I guess I don't multi-task as well as I used to. I have gotten sloppy and written status postings instead of blogging. I do have some more detailed things I need to write, so I will be back soon blog...

A Dream Come True

2009-06-15T09:52:00.004-04:00

Jake has wanted drums ever since he can remember. He has been saving for them, fighting the good fight against his "natural man" and trying to keep his room clean to earn this privilege. Scott and I never saw any way we could financially do it, but still kept the incentive out there so he would hopefully keep his room clean!

Then, fate stepped in. On the way to the dump Saturday morning, they drove past the yard sales and nothing special stood out. Jake was lost in dreams of air-drumming when, on the way past the same yard sales they'd earlier seen, a beautiful drum set stood out! Scott didn't see the drums but saw little motorcycles and decided to stop. Jake's eyes bugged out with glee as he bounced up and down and shouted, "Oh yeah, please, come on Dad!" It was 5-piece 1959 mother of pearl drum set, for $100. I have NEVER known my husband to drop $100 without lots of thought and consideration beforehand, but seeing the complete joy on Jake's face he did it. (And that was the money he was going to use for my birthday present later this week...)

So Saturday morning I was treated to these sounds:

Hot Recipe

2009-04-09T20:25:00.002-04:00

Last night we had our combined youth activity at church (all youth ages 12-17) and we had a baseball theme... I made homemade soft pretzels for part of the refreshments. This recipe is super easy and super good. They were gone in a flash! I am not Miss Domestic and I can do this... so can you!

I got the original recipe off allrecipes.com but my version uses 1/2 the sugar. When I tested the recipe Saturday night, I used the original recipe and they were too sweet for me.

INGREDIENTS:
4 tsp. active dry yeast
1 tsp. white sugar
1 1/4 c. warm water (110 degrees)

5 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 c. white sugar
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1 T. vegetable oil

1/2 c. baking soda
4 c. hot water
1/4 c. kosher salt, for topping

DIRECTIONS:

In a small bowl, dissolve yeast and 1 tsp. sugar in warm water. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.
In a large bowl, mix together flour, 1/4 c. sugar, and salt. Make a well in the center; add the oil and yeast mixture. Mix and form into a dough. If the mixture is dry, add one or two tablespoons of water. Knead the dough until smooth, about 7 to 8 minutes. Lightly oil a large bowl, place the dough in the bowl and turn to coat with oil. Cover w/plastic wrap and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size, about 1 hour.
Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. In a large bowl, dissolve baking soda in hot water.
When risen, turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and divide into 12 equal pieces. Roll each piece into a rope and twist into a pretzel shape. Once all of the dough is shaped, dip each pretzel into the baking soda solution and place on a greased baking sheet. Sprinkle with kosher salt.
Bake in preheated oven for 8 minutes, until browned.

Option: Sprinkle cinnamon/sugar mixture on pretzels just before baking instead of using kosher salt.

Enjoy! My boys are already asking me to make more of these. They're easy enough for me to make often!

Consistency, Conschmistency

2009-04-09T13:52:00.000-04:00

I am addicted to parenting books. It is just the follow-through that I stink at. I have actually been told I can't buy any more. There are so many great ideas.. it is just picking a few and following through.

Lately the idea of PEACE has been an issue in our home. We are talked back to every time we open our mouths and the kids mainly can't say anything to each other without either snarky back and forth comments or Spencer beating up Jacob. I would say "physical fighting" but that would imply that it's two-sided... or Spencer tormenting Sam just for laughs. Let's not forget Jake sulking and having this sourpuss look on his face, shoulders slumped, as he walks upstairs. Even Sam is getting in on the idea of getting the older boys in trouble. He can do crocodile tears with the best of them.

I keep forgetting about the backyard. Aha! Evil glimmer in mom's eyes. I had this beautiful idea. We have about 10 acres that were just logged around Christmastime. When they log the pine trees, they have this machine that strips all the branches off, and leaves them all over the ground. Ten acres of it. These branches and things need to be cleared off because we really don't want our land looking like a war zone for the next 10+ years. So, my idea is that every time they smart off, they can go get a wagon load of stuff and haul it to the burn pile.

It was a great idea... too bad I never follow through! They have only done it once... maybe. It is just so much easier for me to throw a fit and guilt-trip them. Too bad it's not effective. Or very becoming. And not something I want them to emulate. Uggh! Why does parenting force me to look at parts of me I really would rather ignore?!?!

So here's to a little more consistency around here. Or maybe some gingko biloba or whatever memory enhancer is big at the moment, so I don't forget my latest and greatest parenting technique!

Scripture Mastery

2009-03-23T13:05:00.003-04:00

Scott & Spencer came up with a great poster while studying scripture mastery today:

A Van Laar Cousin!

2009-03-08T21:32:00.006-04:00

This is my sister-in-law Skye, holding my Sammy when he was a baby. She looks like a natural, huh? Well, good thing because she is now expecting her first baby and I am SO EXCITED for her and Jeff. She is due the beginning of September and I can hardly wait.

Since she is a first time mom I thought I would give her a few pointers before her next excursion to Babies 'R Us, even though she's pretty pragmatic already and not easily fooled.

Biggest waste of time - wipe warmers. Not only do they dry them out, they spoil your kid. 'Cause at some point you're gonna be traveling on the road and not have a wipe warmer with you (unless you REALLY fall for the hype and get a wipe warmer to plug into the car too) and your kid will not like the cold wipe on his/her bum. Just get them used to a cold wipe, and if they don't like it, they'll potty train earlier. If you make diaper changing too fun they won't want to stop it...
Diaper Champ/Diaper Genie: Overrated. I never had one. You can be just as environmentally unfriendly by reusing those plastic grocery store bags, tying the messy diaper in there, and taking out the trash once a day. Make my brother good for something! :0) Plus no weird sausage-looking things coming out of the diaper genie, no having to buy special bags for it, and using up all those grocery bags! Trust me, you will use ALL of them up.
I know you already know the ridiculousness of this, but I have never seen it before so I had to point it out for all my old-school mom friends. The Summer Infant Soothing Spa. From Babies 'R Us website: "For parents wanting to give their baby the very best experience during bath time there's the Summer Infant Soothing Spa & Shower. Not only can you rinse your little one with clean, warm water with the motorized shower but your baby can experience their very own whirlpool bath. From birth and up the Summer Infant Soothing Spa & Shower has everything you need to bathe baby comfortably and safely." Really? 'Cause some days I think baby will be lucky to get a bath. And at $39.99... whatever!
Receiving blankets - all I ever used them for is to prop the baby on his side before he could roll over. Pretty worthless... but if you get them, you can use it for that, or as a really lightweight blanket when it's a little breezy out.
Bottle warmers - this is probably controversial, but I never warmed up my kids bottles. I used warm tap water (depending on your community you might not want to do this) and gave it to them like that. That goes along with my diaper warmer theory. Never get them accustomed to something you can't replicate anytime, any place.

Now time for some things I really liked:

Sheet savers. These are awesome. If they spit up a little, just change the sheet saver. Obviously for the big jobs you're gonna need a whole new sheet but this will save you tons of laundry. You probably need 4 or 5 of them.
Lap pads - great for diaper changes on the go. I always kept a couple in the diaper bag.
4-section powdered formula dispenser. If you are not nursing, you definitely need one of these. I kept bottles with water in it, and the formula dispenser in the diaper bag. That way no matter how long you are out, you know that baby will be able to eat. And you don't want to be stuck out with a hungry baby. Ever.
Old fashioned cloth diapers - the kind with the reinforced middle - for burp cloths. The things they advertise as burp cloths are worthless. Any kid worth his spit up will soak you right through it.

That's about all for now... I forgot there were so many aspects to baby care. Most of my friends have even more kids than I do so hopefully they will post their helpful hints!

I just realized this sounds like I really can't stand kids... nope, love them! Love babies especially. All the work changing, feeding, is completely worth it, especially at those times when you just get to sit there and rock your baby. I will help any time!

All That and a Tube of Lipgloss

2009-02-19T08:56:00.002-05:00

I should be doing a million other things but something is bugging me.

On the way to seminary this morning Spencer and I were listening to Fox & Friends on the XM Radio. (I should charge them for product placement...) They were talking about how the paparazzi spotted the octo-mom buying cosmetics at the MAC counter yesterday. What? For any guys who read this, MAC is not exactly cheap drugstore cosmetics. And for that matter, what woman who just had 8 kids a week or two ago is even thinking about makeup except in their dreams? And WHERE ARE the 8 kids? Her house is being foreclosed on (well, the one she lives in with her parents) and she is out buying expensive cosmetics? Is the LA celebutard culture so whacked that she feels she needs to put out her best face for her fans?

You can tell this rubs me the wrong way, right?

'Cause most moms I know sacrifice a lot for their kids. We sacrifice MAC cosmetics. We sacrifice a lot of our fashion dreams so our kids can have what they need. Most moms I know aren't sacrificing so their kids can have iPods or labeled clothing. They're sacrificing so their kids can have non-thrift store clothing or enough food on the table or gymnastics lessons or other things to help them grow and develop into good human beings.

In high school I would have died before I shopped at K-Mart. Egads, I don't think I'd heard of Wal-Mart until after high school! I did use drugstore cosmetics, but none of my clothing came from what could be considered a discount store. And there's nothing wrong with those stores, I was just a snob. Even when I was on my own, I liked my clothes from certain places, even if they were on sale or clearance.

Now, as a mom my perspective has changed. Don't get me wrong, I still love nice clothes. And I have a few in my closet. Not many labels, just enough to try to look respectable. We're not poor. But we have 3 boys that are in, basically, private schools, and our youngest son has medical needs that prevent me from earning what I have in the past. And said 3 boys eat A LOT. So here is what I am generally wearing on any given day:

Jeans from Old Navy or Sam's Club
Top from Target
Sneakers half off from Kohl's, or BOGO from Rack Room Shoes
Purse a few years old from Target
Glasses from Costco, or contacts with sunglasses from the cheap rack at Target
Organic cosmetics, at drugstore cosmetic prices
My wedding ring and a ring my mom gave me years ago

And I am happy! I do dream of the day that I can shop to my heart's content but honestly, that pales behind other dreams. Like right now I am coveting a new couch. (Not gonna happen anytime soon.) If other moms have the ability to fulfill their fashion dreams, yaay! They totally deserve it. All moms deserve hot clothes and awesome lipgloss. My main point is...I just thought it a little selfish to be spending that kind of money when needing diapers for 8 kids, and when there's a website set up to collect donations for the kids. That's all.

Now I feel better and can go take on the day! Watch out, Fuquay, here I come!

Flashback: Just Can't Get Enough

2009-02-13T18:54:00.004-05:00

My husband always calls this band "Depressed Mood" and a lot of their songs do have that emo type of flavor to them... but this little ditty is upbeat and happy. I heard it on my normal XM '80s on 8 this morning and it made me very happy so it is my first Flashback tune of the day. I like this particular song because it's not sacrilegious (i.e., Personal Jesus) or too sappy. But watch the video and the guys look a little, ah, fruity, and way '80s! A little strange... but it reminds me of a fun time in life that was naive and blissful - I think I was in 7th grade when it came out. I was so shy when it came to boys... I definitely had my crushes but if they had talked to me I would have freaked out. As it was, if they even looked at me that was enough excitement to carry me through a few days. I lived in my little bubble, and I liked it!

Speaking of little bubbles... Scott and I went to eat at Zaxby's and on the way home Men Without Hats "Pop Goes the World" came on. I haven't heard that song in sooo long... in fact, I don't think I ever really knew that it was Men Without Hats. I was a little torn about what song to put on my flashback so I decided to do a double flashback. The tune is upbeat and happy but really, who wants the world to go "pop"? I don't! Maybe it was having a deeper message about nuclear fears in the '80s? All I know is we bounced around the Sinaloa Jr. High gym to it. Unfortunately we can't embed certain videos in blogger... so you will have to click on this to watch the video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lMQzZYG7VQ

Now that I am in touch with so many more people from Simi on Facebook, I can see more flashbacks in my future. When I become facebook friends with someone there is usually a memory or two that pops right in my mind. So there may be a few flashback dedications in the future... we'll see!

P.S. There are some great Beverly Hills 90210 videos on YouTube!!

Wear Red Day

2009-02-06T13:46:00.007-05:00

(Me, my Grandma, and cousin Teri.)

Today is National Wear Red Day to raise awareness of women's heart disease, and I am wearing my red shirt and making a (small) donation to the American Heart Association... but I wanted to post my grandma's heart disease story to help others know what symptoms to be aware of, so they can help the important women in their lives. I pride myself on being up to date on health news and knew that heart disease and heart attacks presented themselves differently in women, but some of grandma's symptoms threw me until it was too late. Unfortunately her story is one of not one, not two, but THREE missed diagnoses, which gave her unstable angina an opportunity to progress into a major heart attack. Some of you who read my blog at Christmas know the more emotional side of the story, but here I will share a more practical part of the story.

It started with "heartburn" on a Friday night, December 5, 2003.

I stopped by the next morning because she had canceled plans to go to a Christmas parade with me and the boys. She told me, "Darn it, I don't think that taco agreed with me, Jenny. I couldn't lay flat all night. I had to sleep sort of sitting up. Then I got a crick in my neck from doing that." She described an intense gas and heartburn feeling and loose stools. I asked her if she needed anything from the store - Tums, Pepto Bismol, anything - and she said no, she had all that. I visited with her for a little bit then left, telling her to call me if she needed anything.

Sunday she still wasn't feeling well and her upper back was killing her. I was really worried about her and had my mom call EMS, and I rushed over because I actually had the thought it might be a heart problem and wanted to be there with her in case they took her to the hospital, and to hear for myself what the EMT's said (she was a little STUBBORN so I didn't trust her to tell me the truth!). The EMT's came, and her oxygen sats were down around 94% and blood pressure a little high... but she was hypertensive. I asked, "Isn't that saturation level low?" They weren't too worried. They figured she had hurt her back and was sore from that and advised her to go to the doctor. They did offer to take her to the hospital but it was a bad flu season right then and they thought she'd sit there all night anyway.

She was sleeping in her recliner chair in an almost upright position because if she laid down she couldn't breathe very well.

Monday (Dec. 8) I took her to her regular doctor. She was so lethargic by then she could hardly get to my car - only about 20 feet from her front door. The doctor agreed she probably had some heartburn and told her to have a bland diet, her last blood tests showed a little elevated blood sugar so they talked about that and drew more blood. She told her to take Aleve for the pain and let her know if anything got worse. We made a follow-up appointment for the next week to go over new blood test results.

I took her to my chiropractor for her neck--it was legitimately out of whack from sleeping almost upright.

That whole week she was very lethargic. Thursday night was Spencer's Christmas program at school and she went - was miserable the whole time and looked horribly sick. I knew something else was wrong, but not what.

By Saturday the 13th, she was having an even harder time breathing - now while sitting up as well. My step-dad took her to an urgent care there in Angier and she was told she was having an asthma attack and they gave her a nebulizer treatment. (missed diagnosis #3) Still not able to lay flat, still having "gas" pains.

Monday the 15th I took her to the chiropractor and now she needed assistance getting to my van. There was a primary care doctor in the same office, but our appointment was in the evening so I hesitated to ask her to stay late and check my grandma out. I again stayed away from the ER because of all the flu patients there... and because we had an appointment the next day with the doctor anyway.

Tuesday the 17th I took her for her follow-up appointment at the primary care doctor and we mainly talked about her elevated blood sugar and dietary changes she needed to make. Grandma needed assistance to walk into the office and into the exam room. Though we told her Gram was very weak and still having gas pains, the doctor didn't say much. As she wa I ds writing out our slip to go to the front desk, I said, "You know, something is very wrong with her. This is not her at all. She can't lay down. She can't walk. It took her 2 hours to wrap ONE Christmas present. We need to find out what it is." Finally she agreed to do some testing. I ran out to Target during the testing to try to print out pictures for my Christmas cards, which still hadn't gone out... but halfway there, something told me, "Go back now."

I went back and found Gram dressed and in the waiting room. The doctor called me back and handed me an EKG form. She told me it showed Grandma had experienced a heart attack sometime in the last week. She wasn't sure what the damage was or if she would have another one. She told me to get grandma in the car, run over to the ER, park right in front and run in with this EKG form. I did just that.

By this time, my step-dad met us over at the hospital and got Sam, who was 5 months old. They took Gram right back to be seen, but we still sat there a few hours. I needed to get Sam home so Donnie and I traded shifts at the hospital. Donnie said when the ER physician came in, he looked at her initial blood results and talked to her while she was sitting in the bed and was about to release her to follow up with a cardiologist when Donnie said, "Ask her to walk to that door. She doesn't even have enough energy to do that. I want to see a cardiologist now." Luckily they got a cardiologist in and he kept her overnight.

The next day, the tests showed that she had suffered a massive heart attack that ruptured one chamber of her heart. You would think that would be fatal, and in 99.9% of cases it is. She was lucky enough that the rupture somehow became encapsulated and that is what saved her life. But the encapsulated rupture could burst at any time, and her heart muscle was severely damaged. She was in congestive heart failure, which is why she couldn't lay flat. Every time she did, fluid started building up in her chest.

They did a triple bypass surgery the next day and left her on a bypass machine for 7 days so her heart could rest. Luckily she survived that but she didn't come home from the hospital for almost two months and wasn't able to walk long distances after that. She lived until September 2004 when she died in an accident. She didn't let her congestive heart failure stop her. She came to my boys' games and school functions in her wheelchair if she needed to.

I hope by telling the story of what symptoms she had, you will be able to recognize them in yourselves and others. A few months after her heart attack I talked with an old high school friend who is now an internist. I told him the story and, from what he could tell, she had unstable angina and then the heart attack. He said the primary care physician completely missed it, and in his words, "If I made a mistake like that I'd be seeing the person's face when I laid down to sleep."

So many of the public service ads are advertising the classic male symptoms of a heart attack... BE AWARE of the gender differences! www.goredforwomen.org.

Irony

2009-02-06T13:30:00.002-05:00

I opened up my gmail today and saw I actually had a message in the spam folder... first time ever... you'll have to click on it to read it clearly.

25 Random Things About Me

2009-01-21T22:28:00.001-05:00

I posted this on my Facebook page the other day and thought I'd copy it here... anyone who wants to do it is tagged!

1. I am 3/4 Dutch. Isn't that weird?
2. I was voted Most Talkative in Junior High.
3. I have been the court reporter in 8+ capital murder trials, taking down everything verbatim from pre-trial motions and jury selection to sentencing. And I am still think the best of people.
4. My dream growing up was to be a powerful international businesswoman.
5. My initial major in college was International Relations, which then changed to psychology, and now I will end up with a liberal arts degree. In about 10 years.
6. My family is together 24/7 - both my husband and I work from home and all 3 kids are homeschooled. We have survived two things that normally kill a marriage - building a custom house together and both working from home.
7. When I was in elementary school I attended a pull-out program for academically gifted kids and the initials were MGM - I don't know what it really stood for but everyone in my regular class called us Mentally Gifted Morons.
8. I was on the Quiz Bowl in Junior High and read Time Magazine, US News & World Report, and Newsweek every week.
9. I tried to hide the fact that I was on the Quiz Bowl team from my more "popular" friends. I had a little dual identity thing going on.
10. When I lived in Boston my secret shame was shopping for clothes at Woolworth's in downtown Boston.
11. My idea of relaxation is laying on a beach with a good book.
12. I was a cheerleader in 9th and 10th grade before deciding that being a stat girl for the basketball team was more fun, less time commitment.
13. I never ever thought I would live in the South when I grew up. But I have been here for 15 years.
14. I love Reggae music.
15. I have met blog friends in person and still like them...
16. I didn't date until I was 16. Or at least 15 and 3/4. Then I made up for lost time.
17. I used to sell homework favors in elementary school for being picked first on the playground. I call it "entrepreneurial spirit."
18. I was also stupid and used to do my boyfriend's French homework for him. (Yes, Kellie, the actual CLASS work!)
19. I have been friends with a lot of the same people since elementary school.
20. My husband and I only dated for 6 weeks before getting engaged. We were both dating other people when we met.
21. I got married when I was 20.
22. I used to run up to the TV and do the raspberry at Jimmy Carter when he spoke...when I was 5 or 6 years old. Republican from the womb.
23. I have done lots of stupid, horribly embarrassing things that I will never share on a list like this.
24. I am working on visiting all 50 states. Even Louisiana and Mississippi. I think Hawaii will be my favorite...hint to my hubby.
25. When I start reading a book, I get obsessed with it and use all my "free" time finishing the book.

Quick Update

2009-01-12T23:10:00.002-05:00

From south of Cuba in the Caribbean Sea, aboard Liberty of the Seas. Heading to Montego Bay, Jamaica, after a beautiful day on Labadee.

I had this email from my husband today and had to share. He is home with Spence & Sam while I am here with Jake, and I had emailed Scott with an emergency number and to tell him how much I love him. I asked how his Sunday went (he had to teach my YW as there was a RS visiting teaching conference, and he had BYC, and a fireside!) and added a P.S. to Sammy and here is what I got in reply, written from Sam:

Hi Mommy-

The big ship sounds fun. Sunday was great. I waited until Daddy was about to teach a class and then blew out my pants big time. It was cool. The cheap pullups Daddy bought let the poo fly out the side and down my leg. Even my pants were plastered. Since Daddy forgot my wipes and a new pullup, he had to borrow some wipes from Sis Junker. I then put on my shoes and went commando until Bro Christensen brought some of Audree's pajama pants from his truck. Spencer stayed with me in the car so that Daddy could go teach the YW (I hear he did a fantastic job and they wish he could teach them every week). Grandma watched me at night when Daddy & Spencer went to the fireside. I didn't lay any more eggs until right before Daddy got me out of my room Monday morning so everything is wonderful for me. I think Daddy is having a great time too. Spencer says hi and tell Jake not to be smooching any of those cute girls with accents! I love you and so do the other boys.

SRK

I love my husband so much!

Everyone pray for him that he will have an easier week the rest of the time. Here's to hoping he can go with me on my next Top Achievers Club vacation to the Barcelo Maya next January!

A Night With the Old Folks

2009-01-03T21:20:00.002-05:00

Today was a really busy day with a work training meeting (New Year's kickoff) I was in charge of, plus running errands to get costume fixin's for the cruise I'm going on next week. (Famous couples night, Jake & I will be Sonny & Cher.) After I got home my mother-in-law called and invited Scott & I to go with them to grab a bite to eat. It was a welcome diversion!

So we headed out to Ruby Tuesday's with the old folks...and we let them drive. As we headed down our street I looked up to see we were driving on the wrong side - but just for a second as Dad found his glasses. Whew! I think Mom and Dad had a little too much sugar or something in their food because they were in rare form after dinner. We headed over to the Wal-Marts to get Spence a new white shirt for tomorrow and drive past a Burger King that's been there for at least 17 years. Mom says, "Whopper? I thought that was a Jersey Mike's place." Scott says, "Nah, that's Burger King." "When did that happen?" "Ah, 17 years ago or so? You're thinking we're on another street." At which point we rib her about thinking she's back in Kentucky or something, "Hey, where's Danville?"

Out of nowhere, Dad pipes up, "I'll never forget the night me and my buddies painted the sign for Old Fort - we changed the O to an A!" He is laughing so hard he can hardly spit out the words. Which makes me collapse into laughter too.

We survived Wal-Mart in Fuquay Varina, North Carolina on a Saturday night, which is a whole other post. Dad digs in to his M&M's at the first opportunity in the car. We start talking about how some people like more bread-like foods and some like meat and gravy. Scott mentions how the French people during the time of the French Revolution ate 2 pounds of bread a day. Conversation ensues about how French people avoid heart attacks and the expert theories of those in the car of why that happens. (And don't hold me to the exact quotes b/c it was a lightning fast exchange, and I was still laughing at Dad the goldfish and his M&M's.)

Dad: They don't have heart attacks, because they drink so much wine and they're in a stupor.
Scott: It's because they only work like 10 hours a week.
Dad: Yeah, they have no stress.
Mom: They don't think. That's why they have no stress. They'd have to think to have stress. If you don't think about anything, you don't have stress.
Dad: That's what I've been trying to tell you for years!

I'm not sure if it's funny to anyone else...you've got to know these two. Mom is hyper Type A and Dad is...well, if he was any more mellow he would be in a coma. Just sitting in the back seat listening to their banter was more entertainment than I've had in a long time. They promised me, though, that someday my kids would double-date with Scott and I to laugh at the "old people." Whatever. I had fun tonight, and I'm living for the moment!

Miscreants, Part Deux

2008-12-26T22:10:00.004-05:00

If they're going to take my camera and take lame pictures of themselves, there's no telling where the pics might end up!

BUT, since I just got them a videocamera for Christmas, I'd better watch myself or they might give me a taste of my own medicine. Good thing I still own their access to the Internet!

Christmas Miracles

2008-12-25T20:24:00.007-05:00

Lately I have been thinking of Christmas miracles. I was lucky enough to experience one in my life, and I wonder if I will experience another?

Today I am thinking of Christmas 2003. My youngest son was about 6 months old, the child I had waited many years for, and all was well with the world. I was looking forward to another Christmas season with my favorite person in the world (beside my husband and kids), Grandma.

Then, on the first Saturday in December I stopped by my Grandma's house after the local Christmas parade. She wasn't feeling well, so didn't go with us like she usually would. She had major indigestion and other digestive symptoms. We hung out with her for a little bit and then told her to let us know if there was anything we could do. Over the next few days she got weaker and had more bouts with indigestion. I took her to the doctor and she got medicine. By the next Saturday she was extremely weak and went to the urgent care where they gave her a nebulizer treatment, thinking she had asthma. Then Monday night she could hardly walk 10 feet to the car. I thought, "Should I take her to the ER?" But the flu season was horrible that year and the ER's were packed with super contagious people. I thought, "Well, I'll just wait until tomorrow and take her to her regular doctor."

Tuesday came and I took her to the doctor, holding her up as she walked. It turned out she had had a heart attack the week before and was still unstable. Rather than waiting for an ambulance to come, the doctor shoved the EKG in my hand and told me to drive her straight to the front door of the ER and walk in with the EKG and get her in there.

By the next morning, December 17, the cardiologist informed us that it was a major heart attack, and there was an encapsulated rupture. Over 99% of people who have this kind of damage don't survive. She was already a miracle. They were going to do some surgery to alleviate blockages and put her on a heart-lung bypass machine. They could use this machine for up to 7 days to give her heart time to rest and heal. Then they had to wean her off of it and they were unsure that her body would take back over. If it didn't, she would die.

Seven days from December 17: December 24. We needed a Christmas miracle.

Family flew in from across the country to spend a Christmas with Gramie. That Sunday we fasted and prayed. Even though Gramie was not a member of the Church, she had the faith to receive a blessing from my husband and brother-in-law. It was a gorgeous blessing. She was very weak and I wasn't sure how aware she was. But I held her hand through the blessing and as she was being told of Heavenly Father's love for her and his knowledge of the pains she had suffered in this life, and how He would take all of her pains, I felt her tears streaming on my hand. What comfort she was given as she faced leaving this life.

We celebrated Christmas early and took pictures of us opening her gifts to us, so she could have the joy of giving even from her hospital bed. (Of course, her Christmas shopping and wrapping was all done before she got sick.)

On Christmas Eve, we received the miracle we had asked for - Gramie's body took over from the machine. Though she was weakened, we cherished the next 9 months we had with her until she passed away in September 2004.

During that time in the ICU waiting room we saw another family whose story didn't turn out as happily as ours. One of my brother's co-workers was leaving a company Christmas party and crossed a busy street on foot and was hit by a car. His wife and young children gathered there but he did not recover. I don't know why we were given our miracle and seemingly the other family wasn't. I know we weren't any more worthy of it. I do have a testimony that the Lord is in control and pours out His tender mercies if we are willing to receive them. I have seen that this week as an acquaintance of mine, a fellow Heritage Makers consultant, passed away unexpectedly at the age of 38. Her five children and her husband have been strengthened by their knowledge of the eternal plan of their Heavenly Father.

So on this day I remember my Christmas miracle and am so grateful for the babe that was born in Bethlehem over 2000 years ago. It is because of Him that I have hope to see my loved ones again and be together with them and our Heavenly Father.

O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,

It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

'Til He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! O, hear the angels' voices!

O night divine, O night when Christ was born;

O night divine, O night, O night Divine.

Miscreants

2008-12-16T21:54:00.008-05:00

Ahh, the joy of boys! My middle son has a magnetic attraction to electronic devices. He picks them up and messes with them without even realizing what he has done. About a week ago I went to Virginia for the day with a friend of mine so we could clean out her storage unit. Scott had deliveries to do, and Sam was with Papa, so Spence & Jake supposedly did their homeschool work while home alone. But I forgot that I left my camera out on the counter...

Note to Boys: It is stupid to videotape yourself with contraband.

A little background: The LAST time I went to Virginia, Scott had to go to Kentucky to see his Paw Paw the same weekend, so my mom stayed with the boys. They were so incredibly irresponsible, in every possible way, that when I got home I silently packed up the Wii, the X-Box, all their Airsoft & accessories, and even a few of Jake's other favorite toys for good measure. And I enjoyed it. Unfortunately my follow-through skills haven't ever been the best and the box sat in my bedroom where, in my mom-rose-colored-glasses view, they would be left alone, because the boys would be totally obedient (even if out of character).

So, what should you do when you are playing with this stuff? Oh yeah, grab mom's camera and shoot some video!

(Be sure to listen closely to the last part...but for those who need Spence translation it's "Good, because if Mom sees it, we're in big trouble.")

More of their own photos to come, but I gotta get to bed!

(P.S. I didn't use actual words for some of the things b/c ever since I posted about Jake's toy-inflicted injury earlier this year all kinds of hospitals have found my blog! I don't want to get turned in to the authorities!)

Flashback: Hangin' Tough

2008-12-12T14:08:00.005-05:00

I can't believe I haven't done a Flashback in three months. Just due to lack of time! Back in the day I was the biggest NKOTB dork there was. Hangin' Tough is just a fun, feel-good song. If you sing along and do the New Kids dance you will get your heart pumping quick! I am bummed that I didn't get to see them in Charlotte in October but if they come back this way I am definitely there. I gotta see who's woman enough to go with me. My friend Joey went to the LA concert and was close to front row, and Nick Lachey was right next to her. I don't think I could have handled that...Donnie Wahlberg and Nick Lachey that close to me? But until then, I have to be content to see You Tube videos and hear them on '80s on 8.

Come on, you know you love it...just get on the floor and do the New Kids dance!

Husband Tag

2008-12-12T12:35:00.006-05:00

(Scott with me, Spence & Jake the other
night at the Raleigh Temple.)

1. Where did I meet my husband? I first saw him in August of 1992 at Institute at North Carolina State U. We didn't talk until October when I organized a group of people to go to an LA Lakers exhibition game at the Dean Dome.

2.How long did you date before getting married? We dated two months, got engaged, and had a 3 month engagement. Got married March 5, 1993.

3 How long have you been married? 15 and a half years.

4.What does he do that surprises you? Not a whole lot! Lately he surprised me when I wanted to buy a new couch and he actually didn't tell me what to do...he gave me information and then told me to decide. Normally he would just say no.

5.What is your favorite feature of his? His laugh...it is so rare that he laughs out loud that I love to hear it when he does!

6.What is his best quality? He is loyal to his family. They are his best friends.

7.Does he have a nickname for you? Not really. He used to call me "Chunk" and that made me really mad, for years, until I found out that he was just doing a stupid voice from Goonies. It took him a while to figure out that girls don't like being called Chunk. I think he called me Jenny-poo once or twice. (how embarrassing to admit!)

8.What is his favorite food? He eats a lot of Kung Pao chicken from Rainbow Garden, the little strip mall Chinese joint. He loves a good steak and some garlic mashed potatoes, though.

9.What is his favorite sport? Basketball, I would say. He loves football too. He likes to watch hockey in person, not on TV. Likes to play golf but never watch it on TV.

10.When did you first kiss? Sitting in my car after a young singles' Family Home Evening.

11.What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? Well, um...you know...debate politics just like everyone else! We do seriously do that and sometimes it gets too intense because he will play devil's advocate. We like just hanging out and watching TV. We are always on the go so that is nice and relaxing.

12.Do you have any children? Yes..3 boys.

13.Does he have any hidden talents? Many. He is very compassionate when needed. When my grandma died my friends were all so amazed at how great he was for me. But I always knew he would be. He is my rock.

14.How old is he? 37.

15.What is his favorite music? He's an old fogey...classical. Calming things. He does like classic rock too though. Definitely not pop, '80s or disco.

16.What do you admire about him? How he puts his church service and family first.

17.What is his favorite color? I don't think he's ever really thought about it. Anything but pink or purple.

18.Will he read this? Only if I show it to him and make him. He thinks my blog/facebook life is lame.

19.Who said "I love you" First? I think we said it at the same time, Thanksgiving of 1992.

20.Who do you tag? Let's see, Meggan, Natalie, and Ingrid. (assuming Ingrid will be back!)

Writers Block

2008-12-01T22:45:00.003-05:00

I am procrastinating writing the "Christmas letter" because even though I love getting them from people, I'm not sure they love getting mine. I never know how to start it, how to phrase the things in the middle, and so I think it comes out stilted and not showing our family's true personality. It's like I'm trying to not be all those horrible things people say about Christmas letters so I end up not being anything really.

I have stressed about this for the past few hours, in between working and looking at Facebook (a post about THAT later), but actually didn't let my mind wander during my husband's great FHE lesson. I have googled "Lame Christmas letters" (so I know what to avoid), "Christmas letter introductions" (how to hook the reader), and "Funny Christmas letters" (anything will help!). I would put up an example of letters of years past but I am honestly afraid to! I wish I could sound witty like my friend LPS. She sent out the following email today (some identifying details have been changed):

>After a little mishap with a birthday present arriving at our old house, I realized that I had not updated everyone on our move. I had alluded to it in last year's Christmas card, but never followed through on informing our friends and loved ones of our new location.

I know some of you are those eager ones that got your Christmas cards done while digesting Thanksgiving dinner. I am not one of those, but out of respect for you early people, here is our new address:

D, L, S and Soto Dos (due before Christmas)
102 Main Street
Cary, NC 27544

Our phone number remains the same: xxxxx
My cell is the same: xxxxxxx

The other change is that I am finally going to switch my email over to something that reflects the fact I have been married for 4 years and legally changed my name. I'll check the old aol periodically, but will primarily be using the gmail account.

laurapsotoxxxxxx

Observe that there is a "p" between the laura and the soto, so I have not completely lost my identity as a Pottmyer.

Additionally, with the new baby's arrival at some point between now and Christmas, I am shooting for Groundhog's Day cards this year. So don't worry if you don't get a Christmas card. There are those super women who get their cards addressed between contractions and then there is me.

Let me know if you have any updates I need to add to my Christmas card spreadsheet.

Later,
LPS

I have to admit that the Groundhog's Day cards were my idea...so I am not completely devoid of an original thought. Her Christmas letters (or New Year's, or whenever she gets around to it) are always fun and you can tell came straight from her.

So here I am asking friends and strangers for ideas on how to make my Christmas letter reflect me, myself, and mine. Thoughts?

He knows me so well...

2008-11-19T22:06:00.002-05:00

My Heavenly Father, that is. I am a Type A personality to the max. Most of my friends would be heaving a sigh of relief right now thinking, "Phew, she finally gets it, maybe she'll get better," but no, I've known for a long time and I'm still working on it. Sorry! I'm jealous of people who can just be calm and tranquil and roll with things. I actually roll with a lot of things, just not always in the best way.

So last week I was feeling like I was going to strangle a kid or two, and possibly a few adults, and searching for that peace I hear people find in the midst of a storm. I long to just speak softly and not get agitated. I usually blame it on my low blood pressure...that to get to a normal blood pressure I have to be a little agitated. But I don't like how I feel when I'm uptight all the time.

While pondering about this, I was searching on lds.org for something, and came across a talk by Elder Wirthlin. The whole talk was amazing, but I really liked this quote:

"There is a spark of greatness within every one of us—a gift from our loving and eternal Heavenly Father. What we do with that gift is up to us....Create of your life a masterpiece. The abundant life does not come to us packaged and ready-made. It’s not something we can order and expect to find delivered with the afternoon mail. It does not come without hardship or sorrow.

It comes through faith, hope, and charity. And it comes to those who, in spite of hardship and sorrow, understand the words of one writer who said, “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”

The abundant life isn’t something we arrive at. Rather, it is a magnificent journey that began long, long ages ago and will never, never end."

Since really pondering and praying about it I have found more times in the day where I respond kindly and softly to whatever craziness is going on around me. Yes, there's still a ways to go (tonight was a testing ground for sure) but I have an even greater faith that I have a Heavenly Father who knows my needs, and if I can just stay still enough to hear what He is trying to say, I will have all my needs met.

We're one of Oprah's Favorite Things!

2008-11-10T10:29:00.004-05:00

I am not the hugest fan of Oprah (don't have time to watch TV) but I am very excited that my company is featured as one of her All-Time Favorite Things for this Christmas!

We're featured at the bottom of p. 93! That's a picture of our CEO's wife and kids, who love Heritage Makers as well. O Magazine chose the featured book from a bunch of sample books that were sent, and our CEO said his wife was thrilled to be in the magazine. I'm not so sure *I* would be thrilled to be in there with millions of people looking at my mug! Kudos to her!

I am excited for what this recognition will do for our little company! We have some great specials on my website: www.yourstoriesbound.com.

Tagged

2008-11-06T14:12:00.003-05:00

I was tagged by Natalie (and almost forgot) to post about the sixth picture in the sixth folder on my computer. Let me say I had to fight the urge to just search for a more interesting photo instead of really doing what I was told...but in the end I chose the right!

This is a picture of Spencer from his 2007 All-Star game, warming up to bat. This was the second time he'd made All-Stars. I didn't stick with one sport from kindergarten to high school so I am proud of him for doing it! He actually does two sports, basketball and baseball. He played 2 years of football but aged out of rec league stuff, and being in homeschool doesn't have a high school to play for. He's recently kicked the soccer ball around with Jake and shows some skill there, but he thinks soccer is a pansy sport...I need to get him to change his mind.

---- CORRECTION: I forgot to tag people! Hmmm...I tag Kathy, Deana, Jody, and Jen Hambly.

Feelin' It

2008-11-06T13:53:00.001-05:00

I just have to document that I feel like the Reese's peanut butter cup I just ate added 20 pounds to me. It is sitting in the pit of my stomach and I wish I could take it back! It was only one...

That's it, all the Halloween candy is OUT! Sammy definitely doesn't need it and I don't either!

I'm in Love

2008-11-06T10:49:00.003-05:00

You are gorgeous, Mr. 2008 Suburban LT. I love your pebbly leather seats and that they are not slippery or too cold or hot. I love the radio controls on the steering wheel. I love that even when four kids are in the back two rows of seats I can't hear them as I fly up I-95. I love the comfy seats, and being so high above the other cars on the road. I love the enormous console between the front seats where all my "mom junk" (ibuprofen, hand sanitizer, Tums, diaper wipes, chap stick, etc.) can reside and keep the car clean. I love the power that rumbles out of you as I push the gas pedal. I know you are not so easy on the gas, but hey, you use Flex Fuel so that's earth and budget friendly, right? Yes, and you are hard to maneuver in a parking lot but I think I could get used to it. My current partner, my '04 Toyota Camry, keeps my children a little too close for comfort. Budget Rent-A-Car didn't know what they were doing when they upgraded me from a minivan to you. Don't worry, I already let Scott know that he was going to need to find a way to add you to our family. I do need a way to drive those Young Women around, don't I?

I was saddened as I left you in the rental car return area the other day. Don't worry. I will come back for you!

Gems from the Primary Program

2008-10-30T22:23:00.003-04:00

Our Primary did such a great job on their program on Sunday. Sometimes kids say/do the funniest things without realizing what they are saying, giving that added *humor* to the program. I was able to jot down a few from our Primary Program last Sunday:

The first was my son, Sam, who looooves the descant part for I am a Child of God. Unfortunately no one knew he wanted to sing it, and he sang it a capella. Loudly. Off key. He has one of those stage voices...the kind that carries... I thought I was going to roll off the bench laughing.
"We all lived with him in the pre-Mormon world..."
2 Nephi 4:15 "For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart poundeth them..."
Doctrine & Covenants 68:27 "And their children shall be baptized for remembrance of their sins when eight years old...

These kids were so cute and really had the spirit with them, and we all knew what they really meant when they misprounounced the big words, but, like some of the jokes that only parents get in the Lion King or other animated movies, these little gems make the Primary Program extra special!

Things I Love About Jake

2008-10-28T13:46:00.005-04:00

I'm a little tardy on this (bad mom!) but I wanted to list things I love about the newest Deacon in our ward, Jake!

1. His infectious smile. It even softens his dad!

2. His conscience. He has conscience enough for him and Spencer. Not that Spencer always likes that.

3. A thoughtful attitude. He comes up with things we should do for other people to help them feel better, or because they've had a bad day.

4. How he gets OBSESSED with things. He is a very monogamous kind of guy. It's one love at a time. For a while, Harry Potter. For a while, Star Wars. For a while, Indiana Jones. Right now, it is spy/military gear. Notice that all of those obsessions include some kind of wand/saber/sword/gun kind of thing.

5. Unwavering faith. He has understood deep gospel principles from a young age and demonstrated faith at every opportunity.

6. He's his own man! He doesn't bend to peer pressure. He knows who he is and is comfortable with it.

7. He doesn't forget where he came from! He is a family guy. His best friends are his brothers, cousins, and uncles.

8. Planning ahead. When he was five, he asked me how long it takes for the baby to come after people got married. I was afraid where the conversation was going, but I told him, well, at least nine months, but it's really whenever Heavenly Father decides to bless them with a child. He says, "But it will be at least nine months?" Yes, I replied. "Good," he said, "then I will have time to make a crib for the baby."

9. Creativity. Jake and a box of Lego parts go a long way. Add his friend Ben to that mix, and they will be upstairs in their cave for hours...well, until we come and get them. We have never tested to see how long they will actually stay in there without food or drink.

Happy Birthday Jake! I love you!

Melman, Gloria, Marty & Peeps

2008-10-20T22:27:00.005-04:00

Sam has been an enormous fan of "Madagascar" since we got it on DVD a while ago. He will line up his zoo animals and reenact scenes, recite lines, etc. So he was very excited to go to the North Carolina Zoo last week and see the "Melmans" in person! His approach to the Zoo was, like him, unique. He would be excited and talking about what animal we were going to see next, walk up to the observation area, look at it, count how many there were, and walk away. That's it. No lingering to enjoy the scenery or take it all in. I think he gets that from his dad, who is the only person I know who can be in and out of Super Target in less than 10 minutes.

But, I digress. The weather was a little warm - 50 degrees WARMER than today, in fact - but it was a beautiful Indian Summer day, and it was basically what I would call a perfect day. No phones, no deadlines, no cleaning - just me and my family having fun, no fighting at all. Except maybe when I busted out the camera but we'll just forget about that. I mean, I don't think I can emphasize the no fighting thing enough. It seems like at home I constantly hear contention - but that day there was none. It was so peaceful and heavenly to enjoy my children. The only thing that would have made it better is if Scott could have gone.

Here are some photos:Out of all my boys, Jake is the winner of the baboon impression contest.

I swear, I actually took that. It turned out so well I was amazed.

Happily Overwhelmed

2008-10-15T22:46:00.004-04:00

I can't believe how long it has already been since my last post...every night I think of what I need to write about but don't get the time or feel like my brain is already too drained to write anything coherent or anything someone else would care about reading.

One of the reasons I am so drained is because I have something new in my life. I think I brought it on myself when I blogged about my friend who is a counselor in a Relief Society presidency with a sort of overbearing president...because now I am the Young Women's president in our ward. I have been in many, many presidencies but now that the burden is squarely on my shoulders it feels different. Very humbling and quite heavy. The girls are incredible and so fun, and I know that it will help me not feel so old! Or maybe it will make me feel older? I don't know yet. Tonight was our first mutual night and we just got to know them better and found out where they are in personal progress and in their lives.

I feel like the more I figure out, the more decisions there are to be made. It's like unpeeling an onion. Hopefully I won't be crying!

Spencer has been good about the whole thing - the last thing he wanted was for me to be chaperoning the youth events! But he hasn't complained too loudly yet, and I will attempt to not obstruct his social life.

If anyone has any good ideas for a standards night, let me know. We still need to do one this year.

GOOOAAAAAL!

2008-10-11T23:15:00.000-04:00

Jake scored his first goal today! No action shots, but here he is post-game...

We were ahead about 10-1 in the second half and one of his teammates got slide-tackled. Jake normally plays defense but since we were up so much the coach was letting them all change positions. When the penalty kick was being set up, I had the thought, "Wouldn't it be crazy if somehow they asked Jake to take this kick?" I look up and see Jake in position to take the kick with one of his teammates whispering strategy to him (since this is only Jake's second soccer season he hasn't had a lot of experience with this kind of thing). The whistle blows, we hear the kick, and GOAL! I was in disbelief for a second and had a delayed reaction, then Scott, Spence & I start hootin' and hollerin'. We could hear Jake's happy laugh from the sidelines. What a great day!

Royal Ball & Life Update

2008-10-09T21:47:00.006-04:00

I posted earlier this year about the Royal Ball I was going to attend with my dad. It was such fun! They did such a good job with the theme. I got to bring home a wand and a glass slipper, and wear my tiara. Here are some pics:

Barbara (step-mom), me, my Dad

My Heritage Makers downline who were able to attend:
Lorna, Nancy, Kathi, me, Layla, Melissa, Kelly
What a fun time we had!

And now for some random life update things. We had Tropical Storm Fay hit probably a month and a half ago, and we got quite a bit of rain and wind. This tree limb fell during the storm and was leaning against another tree, so Scott pulled it all the way down (almost killing my hostas...) until he could get the tractor out to drag it to the back. The scale is a little off here so it doesn't look as big as it really is. Well, I just took this picture a few days ago. It's still there. So I don't want to hear anything from him about not finishing what I start! It's our new Redneck Yard Decor.

It goes right along with the Redneck Dog Yard Decor that Jack & Shadow deposit in the yard. I don't know where this huge bone came from. I put my camera case on the ground next to it so you could appreciate how big this thing is.

We're lucky this year so far. Usually during hunting season deer carcasses end up in our yard - skulls and leg bones at a minimum. Hunters will field dress the deer then leave the skin, bones & head in the woods, which the dogs find, drag to the front yard, and gnaw on. We'll come out of the house in the morning to find them huddling protectively over a leg. So if you come visit in the fall, best not to let the dogs lick you! This is why on farms in the South we don't have indoor/outdoor hybrid pets. They're either completely in, or completely out, because the outdoor ones do gross things like this.

And on to a random Sammy picture. The kid has the most self-confidence of anyone I know. He absolutely does not care what anyone thinks about him, and is constantly looking in any reflective surface. He has fun playing with the Wii Menu, posting all the Mii's. He then attempts all the different poses. He also tries to imitate what the characters do on Wii Play. Once he got his soccer cleats, here is his pose in front of the fireplace (where he could see himself reflected in the glass):

I know you all are jealous of my little circular table there. That is another "gift" from hubby. He wanted a place to put his scriptures and didn't want to buy the cute $100 round mahogany-colored table I found at Target, so he found one of the old '80s style ones in his brother's Goodwill pile and took it and used SHIPPING TAPE to hold the glass down. Then in the attic he found a lamp that is missing a lampshade and thought that would be the perfect completion to the home decor. Yet, he spent $300 on wood and things to create a tool shed within one of the alpaca sheds. So, once he gets that done he is going to *build* me a nice table. He doesn't know it yet...but he will...with a smile on his face, 'cause he's a nice guy.

Crazy Train

2008-10-08T18:09:00.002-04:00

I have this train in my head...the thought train. Sometimes it is very kind to me, other times not. It usually meanders and doesn't make much sense.

Here is my thought train from today when I was on Facebook:

Wow, I wish the girls would all put their maiden names somewhere on there. It would be so much easier to know who they are.
And those darn profile pictures are so small. I don't know if I know that person or not.
People keep saying I look the same in my profile picture. Yaay that 60 pounds are invisible!
Well, really it's probably more than 60 pounds if I'm counting back to actual graduation and not wedding day. But we'll just keep it there.
But luckily a lot of other people gained weight too, tee-hee. So it's not just me.
I hate how society looks at women gaining weight as so bad, but men get away with it all the time. I should just accept that. It's been that way since the beginning of time.
And men don't even have the stinkin' babies. Yet it's okay if they gain weight?
I earned that 60 pounds! Three kids and that nice hormonal disorder where I gained 35 pounds in 3 months.
Speaking of, I should totally sue the doctor that gave me that fat making medicine.

How did I go from A to Z? Lots of meandering on the crazy train. Bless my friends and husband for putting up with it! But really, if they think it's bad for them, it's so much worse on me!

Extra Credit

2008-10-06T12:08:00.003-04:00

Spencer needed some extra credit in his US Government class, and the assignment was to tell what living in the USA means to you, without using words. I thought it was great and he gave me permission to share it here:

I'm making a rule...

2008-10-03T08:35:00.002-04:00

I am not going to comment on someone else's blog unless: A) I re-read it three or four times to make sure it makes sense, and B) it's before 9 p.m.

Do you ever go back and check what comments came after yours and perhaps re-read yours? I did that this morning and thought, "That second paragraph did not relate to the first in the way my brain intended it to!" Many people I blog with I don't really know in person so they probably think I am a real airhead...or maybe I am a real airhead and am just better at hiding it in person? Or maybe I am a real airhead and only fooling myself?

Anyway, I am going to try real hard to not make such a fool of myself in comments, or in un-proofed posts, for that matter. It's just that by the time I get around to blogs all my high quality brain juice has been used elsewhere.

You Have the Life You Dreamed Of

2008-09-30T17:44:00.003-04:00

One of the biggest "WOW" moments from a conference I attended this past summer was the concept that you are currently living the life you dreamed of. I immediately got what was meant by this, and others struggled. "You mean, I dreamed this horrible husband, up to my eyeballs in debt, etc." they said or thought. Yes. Now, I know there are some limitations to this concept but in general I think it's true. What you expect your life will be, you get. For instance, from the time I was a little primary child I had a concept of what my family life would be when I grew up and that I would marry a returned missionary in the temple. It was never questioned in my mind - just a fact that would someday be true. During my teenage years I strayed from the church but still knew that I would have my own eternal family. Eventually I came to my senses, and now I do have the life I "dreamed" of.

I think this can be negative too. If you think you can only rise to a certain level because of your gender, economic status, education, race...you will only rise to that level.

In a smaller way, we have unfortunately seen this principle work in our family recently...we paid off all 3 of our vehicles (car, truck, delivery van) in September, freeing up a significant amount of extra income every month. Yaay! Now we can make headway on the equity line... So Scott says, "Yeah, we'll have all the vehicles paid off next week, so I am expecting a precipitous drop in income." I told him to be quiet, and not expect bad things to happen. He thinks "there is a law irrevocably decreed in the heavens" that we cannot ever make more than what we need to get by. (which isn't a bad thing).

So, guess what? His wholesaler is hitting all the small guys with a huge fuel surcharge, on top of an increase in regular delivery fees, which is taking $700 a month off of our take-home pay. Then, yesterday morning the transmission died on his newly paid-off delivery van! That was $2500, thankyouverymuch. GRRR!

I still think he dreamed this into existence...and I am hoping that my positive thoughts can start to at least neutralize his!

What it takes...

2008-09-22T19:27:00.006-04:00

..to feed four guys in my house while I'm gone from Tuesday night to Sunday night: (a/k/a what my Wal-Mart cart looked like today)

15 Totino's Pizzas in varying flavors (supreme, 3 meat, cheese)

5 boxes Kraft Mac & Cheese

2 jumbo boxes (24 ct) Eggo Waffles

4 gallons of milk

And the rest I'm not snipping pictures of, sorry!

2 boxes "Crisp Rice" cereal

2 boxes "Honey Oat Toasters" cereal

1 box Wal-Mart brand cereal bars

And for lunch they have cold cuts or the stash of Ramen noodles from the food storage.

I won't feel sorry for them when I am at In-N-Out or Cheesecake Factory...no, not one ounce!

He's a Regular Romeo

2008-09-17T21:22:00.005-04:00

My husband will be the first to admit that his skills don't lie in the sweep-you-off-your-feet department...he is the man, after all, who bought me a tool box for our first married Christmas so I would leave his tools alone when hanging pictures, etc. He is the man who...well, I won't tell other stories because it's just too embarrassing!

He totally surprised me today! Sunday at Stake Conference we were challenged to read the Book of Mormon before the end of the year. We are reading New Testament as a family and Book of Mormon individually. Confession: I'm not the best at doing my individual scripture study. During August I had started Book of Mormon and was up to about the 18th chapter of 1 Nephi, and this morning put a missionary copy of the B of M in the car so I could read during Spencer's seminary. I started reading my allotted five pages, which brought me into the Isaiah chapters. Oh no! This morning I was especially tired and the first Isaiah chapter took me 25 minutes of reading and re-reading to try to get something, anything, out of it. My brain wasn't even firing on one cylinder! I was hoping to just be blessed for the effort today...

I mentioned it to Scott this morning on my way out the door to a deposition. When I got home this afternoon, I found a brand new copy of this on my desk:

My boys thought it was hysterical...Dad calling me an airhead! But I thought he was showing his love for me. He happened to be delivering office supplies to the temple so stopped in the bookstore to get this for me. Normally doing something outside of his daily routine just doesn't even occur to him, so the fact that it occurred to him AND that he acted on it just blew me away. What a sweetie!

And I freely admit liking books that break things down into teeny tiny bites. I got so much more out of reading Sean Covey's "7 Habits for Highly Effective Teens" than I did reading the grown-up version! So I am looking forward to this being my nighttime reading, and then reading my scriptures in the morning hopefully with a new outlook!

Let Justice Be Done

2008-09-16T16:22:00.002-04:00

Jury Selection to Begin in 'Joe Cool' Boat Murder Case

Monday, September 15, 2008

Independence County Sheriff's Office

Kirby Archer

MIAMI — It began as a case of six missing boaters. Then came the dramatic tale of an attack on the high seas by Cuban pirates, four fatal shootings and the rescue of two survivors from a life raft. Then the two survivors were charged with murder.

Nearly a year after the "Joe Cool" charter vessel set sail for the Bahamas, jury selection is scheduled to begin Monday for the trial of 20-year-old Guillermo Zarabozo on charges of murder, kidnapping, robbery and several violations of maritime law.

Zarabozo faces life in prison if convicted.

Prosecutors say Zarabozo and 36-year-old Kirby Archer tried to hijack the boat to Cuba after hiring it in September 2007 for a phony trip to the island of Bimini. When the captain, his wife and crew resisted, prosecutors say the pair shot all four and dumped their bodies into the ocean. The victims were never found.

---------------

One of the boaters, Kelley Van Laar Branam, is my 2nd cousin. Unfortunately with her growing up in Michigan and me in California we never knew each other in this life. She was a young mother with two children she adored who are now orphans. All for what? Some rednecks who robbed a Wal-Mart trying to get away from the country. My great-aunt and uncle and their family are devastated and doing all they can to keep the memories of Kelley and Jake alive for the kids. Let justice be done.

Soccer Sammy!

2008-09-15T23:48:00.003-04:00

If I weren't dead tired I would grab my camera to post a Sammy soccer practice pic. But I can't let one more day go by without updating my blog.

Sammy's first soccer practice was a challenge, to say the least. I got more exercise than he did, I think, just trying to hold him up. His expressive-receptive language disorder made for an interesting day. BUT, he loved what he was doing and at age 5 that's all that matters, huh?

By the second practice we got the routine down some, though I still had to chase him around some. The second half of practice they did a scrimmage, and Sam basically ran around with a humongous grin on his face laughing at the other kids. One of the coaches yelled, "Sammy, get the ball!" in an encouraging way, not getting on him at all. What do you think he did? Remember, he has to be spoken to in VERY SPECIFIC terms. He ran right in the middle of that swarm of kids, bent down, picked up the ball (WITH HIS HANDS) and brought it to the coach! We all had a good laugh about that, and I quickly yelled, "KICK the ball, Sammy!" The coaches are awesome about learning how to communicate with Sam and you can bet they are not telling him to "get" the ball anymore!

At tonight's practice he actually ran in the middle of the swarm and kicked it, and nearly scored a goal. Yaay! I knew putting him in this league was the right thing to do. He is loving being there. My brother will be there to cheer at his games, as well as Jake's.

Which reminds me, my brother is a wacko soccer fan and last year threatened to bring a Chivas flag to Jake's game (they had a Chivas look-alike jersey) and start cheering in whatever broken Spanish he could muster. I told him that wouldn't go down in Angier, where we have real Mexicans!

Thank you, Sarah Palin!

2008-09-10T14:29:00.003-04:00

Kudos to Sarah Palin for making it cool to be a principled, tough, feminine woman! I feel like a woman after my heart has made it big time, and it's even more okay to be me. Sure, there are lots of women in politics and in big jobs, but they have almost seemed shrill and like something was owed to them just by virtue of their gender. It's no secret I am a "get it done" kind of gal and not demure by any means. Sometimes I feel like a steamroller! But when it comes to standing up to bad guys, whether it be special interests, terrorists, or whatever, I would pick Sarah Palin over a lot of men any day! And I bet she has been known as a steamroller at times.

Camille Paglia described Palin as an Annie Oakley type in her Salon.com column (which I rarely to never read) today...all you Annie Oakleys of the world, get up! It's our time to shine! It's now okay to be a powerful conservative woman!

I Heart Teenage Logic

2008-09-08T23:34:00.000-04:00

(Reading Robbie's recent post reminded me of the different drafts I have lingering in my posts folder, so I've been reading a few - this one struck me after the horror that is the first week of homeschool! It was in April or so, right after redstarmama had posted about a...um...trying day with the little ones and how her brain was turning to mush. Lesson: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Here is the unedited draft.)

Reading Jenn's post about brain mush reminded me of something I was going to post anyway. Conversations with teenagers are just as frustrating, though in a different way, as conversations with toddlers/preschoolers. The lack of logic is still mind-blowing. We homeschool our 13 year old son, Spencer, and he eats snack around 10:30 every day. Here is today's conversation (eerily similar to other days...) It's been about 12 hours since then so the brain mush has completely set in, so I am doing my best to repeat it here.

Me: Hey, what's up - you down for snack time?
Spencer: Yeah. What is there to eat?
Me: Well, look and see what we have, and give me a suggestion. (What do I look like, the waitress spouting daily specials?)
Spencer: We don't have anything.
Me: Well, how about a banana?
Spencer: Nah, I don't like bananas. (He used to...)
Me: Hmm. Apple?
Spencer: Can I have some chips and queso dip?
Me: No. Snack needs to be healthy. (Why am I negotiating with a terrorist?)
Spencer: But you let me have chocolate dessert for snack yesterday.
Me: Yes, and I should never make that mistake again. So you can have a fruit or a vegetable.
Spencer: I don't like any fruits or vegetables.
Me: Okay, then go back upstairs and do your work.
Spencer: But I'm hungry!
Me: (Waah!) Well, get a celery stick out and put peanut butter or cream cheese on it. Or I'll cut up the pineapple on the counter. Do you like pineapple?
Spencer: No.
Me: I guess you're not having snack then. Get back to work! (Said with a smile.)
Spencer: (Looks around kitchen.) What can I have for snack?
Me: (Holy cow?!? Is he deaf or stupid? Or both?) A fruit or vegetable!
Spencer: But I don't like any fruits or vegetables. (Totally changing subject) So, I'm just wondering why I can't eat "my" chips. Dad bought them for both of us while you were in Florida.
Me: (patience wearing WAY thin.) YOUR chips? They're not YOUR chips. (Anything you own is mine!) And you can't have them because it's time for a HEALTHY snack. Oh, look, your dad's driving up. Why don't you ask him why you can't eat YOUR chips?
(Scott walks in and I give him a tattle-tale run down.)
Scott: Why did you say they were YOUR chips? Why don't you just do what your mom says and say yes, ma'am?
Spencer: I didn't say they were my chips.
(They go back and forth on this point for a few minutes and I am pleasantly surprised that it doesn't end up in shouting and someone on the floor.)
Scott: So, Mom said you can have a healthy snack. Pick something, or go hungry.
Spencer: Can you give me ideas about what a healthy snack is?

BRAIN EXPLOSION!!!

And it is just paining me too much to go through this. Needless to say we rode the rollercoaster of teenage logic - you know, the kind where you say one thing, then two seconds later you say something totally contradictory, and you deny that you ever said anything different, and don't see anything wrong with your inconsistencies.

Then five minutes later you come hug your mom and apologize and all is supposed to be forgiven!

Holiday Cards

2008-09-04T23:00:00.000-04:00

I try not to put too many business things on this blog and keep it more "personal" but I wanted to get the word out about a great way to help some charitable organizations this holiday season.

Heritage Makers, the company I am a consultant for, carries custom holiday cards in 4x6 and 5x7 sizes (flat or folded) and a few other custom sizes. The cards can be customized on all sides in any kind of way the customer wants - as many pictures, art work, text boxes, embellishments, etc., as they want. We have an incredible sale going on right now, but I wanted to do something to get some money to a few organizations that I have been watching and would like to help.

So, for all holiday card packages that are purchased before September 15, I will donate 20% of the purchase price, which is my profit, to the organizations listed. Each customer can choose which organization they want their donation to go to. You don't have to be ready to publish your holiday cards before the 15th, but you can take advantage of the price and the charitable donation by pre-purchasing and then publishing later.

The 4 organizations are:

1Life2Live: (http://www.1l2l.org) A foundation started by the family and friends of Tyler Broberg, a young man from my hometown who died in a tragic accident last year. They raise money to do community programs like Habitat for Humanity in Simi Valley, CA.

FED – Foundation to Eradicate Duchenne: (http://duchennemd.org) This foundation was started by one of my customers, Dana Wood, whose son suffers with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. The Foundation to Eradicate Duchenne (FED) raises money to support the world's only clinical trials network for Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD).

CHILD Foundation: http://www.childfoundation.us. The Mission of this non-for-profit organization is to provide support, education and hope to families affected with a pediatric interstitial lung disease and to advocate and raise funds for scientific research. An old friend, Suzanne (Rives) Bognar is a parent of a 3 year old daughter with this disease and I was moved to try to help.

And, lastly, one close to my own heart: Late Talker's Foundation. http://www.latetalkers.org. This foundation funds research by Dr. Stephen Camarata of Vanderbilt University, the specialist who has worked with my son, Sam, with his speech disorders. They also help educate and support parents who are trying to assist their late-talking children with education and therapy.

My "work" blog: http://www.yourstoriesbound.wordpress.com, has some ideas for the cards and shows samples. Please feel free to pass this on to anyone who might want to contribute to one of these organizations.

De-slacking the blogs

2008-09-04T22:42:00.004-04:00

I've just caught up a week or so of posts...I backdated them to give in to my anal sense of order that has been ignored for way too long. For your reading pleasure, I have about 7 posts...even continuing on to the next page!

Flashback: Robert Palmer + 90210

2008-09-03T00:16:00.000-04:00

In honor of the "new" 90210, today's Flashback is Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love."

I couldn't find footage of it, but who could forget Brenda, Kelly & Donna performing that song on the show?

I think...nay, I know...that 90210 lasted longer than any relationship I had before marriage! I LOVED that show. I was so jealous when some friends got to be extras on the show in the summer of '91. I had a full-time job and couldn't go hang out attempting to be an extra...they had so much fun. I always thought Brandon was the cutest one. I think out of the female characters I was most like Andrea Zuckerman, on the fringes of the "popular" crowd and kinda wanting to be a full part of it but kinda not. I watched it from the beginning, through the summers, and even when I was married. Once I had little ones I tried to keep watching...would've been great to have Tivo then! I remember rushing home from summer institute at Moorpark to watch it...I had a secret guy-friend who would come home from institute with me to watch 90210 while we cuddled on the couch - Simi Valley was always too small to even say hi to anyone without a rumor you were dating so we kept that little flirtation pretty secret. I remember being back in Boston and the show was on Thursday nights, and the group of us would gather at my apartment to watch it before heading out for Thursday night dancing. And I remember watching reruns on Saturday mornings while I walked on the treadmill while Scott was out working in the yard, so he wouldn't catch me watching that "lame show"! I know it wasn't very intellectually stimulating but it was just nice mindless entertainment...and really, should a guy who thinks "Tommy Boy" is classic theater be giving me TV watching advice? I don't think so!

Now I have to figure out a way to check out the new show without him giving me grief about it!

P.S. I like Tommy Boy too...maybe that was a bad example...

First Day of School

2008-09-02T22:37:00.003-04:00

The first day of "Knight School," our homeschool, was today, even though Spencer has been attending seminary for a week. It's hard to say the grades they're in, because they work more at their own pace than through rigid grade levels. If I had to estimate...Spencer would be in second semester of 10th grade, Jake in 6th, and Sammy in kindergarten.

I will resist the urge to compare my first day photos to those of my friends, whose kids must have some kind of "awesome pose" button they can push. Mine don't. These photos are the result of bribing, whining, yelling, and a meltdown. And that was just from me!

We start here...

It gets better.

Finally, something authentic! :-)

The only good shots of the kids, I got when cropping out another one.

Spencer, 14 years old

Jake, 11 years old

And with Jake, he's got some serious fashion skillz. Here is how he originally showed up for our photo shoot:

But when you have cool guns, who cares what else you look like?!? I HATE those shoes when worn anywhere but the beach or to walk next door to grandma's. My kids are more utilitarian. They don't really care. Can't you tell?

I'm Very Blessed

2008-08-30T22:26:00.002-04:00

It is well-known among my close friends that my husband and I are a classic case of "Opposites Attract." I am pretty social and love going to gatherings and having lots of people in all the Circles of Friendship (as defined by Cuillard, 2008.) Scott, on the other hand, counts his brothers, sister, parents, and sons (oh, and me too) as his best friends, and there are very few others he even cares to keep in touch with. So when some old friends of ours from our single days invited us to a cookout today, I knew he would not want to go. Sure enough, he didn't. He decided to help his friend (the few, the proud) Gregg with land-clearing projects for Gregg's new house.

So I was pretty ticked. We spend a TON of time together as a family, what with both of our businesses being based at home and our kids being homeschooled. But most of the time we're working on our separate things, or irritating each other, and not enjoying those quality family experiences. I thought it would be fun to GO somewhere as a family and have conversation with people we don't see very often. I grudgingly allowed (ha!) him to go to Gregg's.

I went to the picnic and had a great time catching up with people I hadn't seen in at least five years, and re-establishing friendships. But I missed having Scott with me, and not just for him to run after the kids. As I was packing up to head from the cookout to my mom's birthday party, I checked my phone and had an email from Gregg's wife:

I just want you to know that we appreciate your husband’s help today. He is a great guy. You are very blessed. Thanks for loaning him out today. Sorry to take him away from family time. Have a great time tonight with your mom.

I then thought of how selfish I was to try to hinder his instinct to serve others. She's right; I am blessed. Sometimes things don't get done around my house or we don't have the family time I'd like, but I know he's serving his father in heaven. And we have three boys who will (hopefully) be leaders in the church and community in the future, and they will remember that their father has a servant's heart. I need to change my heart, so they will remember a supportive mother, not a resentful one.

Beach Day

2008-08-29T22:43:00.001-04:00

We finally had a beach day! We've been trying to go for a few weeks but between summer crowds and Tropical Storm Fay, we finally made it today. We went to seminary, then Maureen & Abby picked us up and we rode in their nice new 2008 Honda Odyssey to Wrightsville Beach. Since all the public schools are in session and it wasn't quite Labor Day weekend yet we didn't have a crowd. We got there at 11 a.m. and found parking right away, right near a public restroom that we didn't even need. I guess the kids all peed in the ocean?

Sam is FEARLESS in the water. He saw Spence & Jake way out there body surfing and just tried to run to them. I even let a few waves knock him over but he got right up. He has this horrifying habit of leaving his eyes open in the water. So as I look down to pick him up, his eyes are open staring at me from under the water. That freaks me out, like my kid is drowning. He liked playing with the sand too, but mainly he liked knocking over everyone else's sandcastles.

The four hours there flew by. We raced back to take Jake to soccer practice, and were all completely exhausted.

I will have to post pics when Maureen sends them to me.

First Week of Seminary

2008-08-28T22:39:00.001-04:00

Whew, I made it through a week...almost! I found out that when you get up at 5:40 a.m. you can go a few days still going to bed at 11:30 or 12:00 but by the 4th day you are wiped and have no executive level functioning in your head. This is a bad thing at the end of the month, when trying to get sales in. I found out it's one mile to the top of Sis. Moody's hill, and (obviously) a mile back down. So walking up there and back is a 2 mile walk. Yaay for exercise. My rear and thighs feel so much slimmer and tighter after a fast walk. And that is always a good thing.

Seeing through the weeds...

2008-08-27T14:06:00.003-04:00

On our acre lot I am taking it a little at a time with landscaping. We've been here 9 years and I'm still working on it! I have major allergies so most of the days I would have loved to be out in the yard I simply can't. The allergy injections + zyrtec are finally paying off and I was out there yesterday. But this year I can hardly see through the weeds...ragweed, that is. This year it's hitting me especially hard - I feel like I'm in a brain fog. Hopefully it leaves soon!

Stinging Ants & Benadryl

2008-08-25T22:18:00.005-04:00

I first experienced a bite from a fire ant a few years ago in Frazier Park, CA - within minutes my foot was swollen and I had to take a large dose of Benadryl. Not something I ever want to experience again! We have quite a few fire ant hills on our property but I found we have a charming relative residing in the front flower beds - a black stinging ant.

I planted vinca a few years ago and was delighted at how quickly it spread, but then it became a nuisance. I yanked most of it out a few weeks ago, but some remained. I went out this morning to yank it out too and do some more intensive clean up work. Somehow a bunch of these ants got up the back of my shirt and stung me, and I was so hot from the NC summer that I didn't notice! I came in covered in sweat and dirt and headed straight for the shower. When I got out and got dressed, my back felt like it was on fire! I lifted up my shirt and saw five huge welts on my back...grr. I cannot take Benadryl without feeling drunk, but I knew I'd never get through the day without it. I put some Aveeno hydrocortisone cream on them and took 2 benadryl. I felt so out of it the rest of the day. I was talking to my friend Hallie on the phone and said, "I'm not sure if I'm making sense." She said something like, "Sure, you are," but it wasn't too convincing.

Then, a huge thunderstorm came and washed away a lot of my new potting soil/topsoil! ARRGH!

The aftermath - see the topsoil and stuff all messed up? And our 2 inches of rain in 1 hour sure filled up the front flower beds. Well, at least I got the weeding done.

Seminary!

2008-08-24T22:12:00.004-04:00

We just got back from the Seminary Kickoff Fireside. This year will be Spencer's first year in Seminary, and if he graduates he will do better than his parents did! Neither of us made it past the first few weeks. We gave it the old college try but the old pillow got the better of us. And since no one was making me go...well, I didn't! I totally wish I had now.

I am excited for all he is going to learn and excited for what getting up early is going to do for me! Here Seminary is run differently than in California. Our ward covers all of one county plus portions of a few others so we have two seminary teachers - one teaches the southern part of the ward at the church building and the other teaches the northern part at her home. There will be five students meeting there and she lives about five minutes away. We live on a semi-busy road (well, pretty busy in the mornings because it's a cut-through to the middle and high schools) with no sidewalks, so I've never been enthusiastic about walking around here. The seminary teacher lives in a subdivision with lots of hills. So I am going to get up at 0-dark-30...okay, 5:40...and have Spencer there by 6:00, and then I have an hour to walk and get myself ready for the day. Realistically I don't think I will make it more than 20-30 minutes walking, at least to start. So I will do that, and then read scriptures in the car until he's done. Then we'll get home about 7:10, in time for family scripture study and prayer.

I am looking forward to what getting up and doing all this stuff will do for me. By 8:00 I will have exercised, had personal prayer & scripture study, family prayer & scripture study, and be showered and ready for the day. It will be great!

Oh yeah, I think Spencer will get a lot out of it too! I'm hoping to learn scripture mastery things with him and be able to talk about the great insights we'll get from our studies.

Moderation in all things

2008-08-21T20:39:00.003-04:00

In my adult life I have had the opportunity to be in lots of leadership callings...not because I am so qualified but because where we live there aren't that many people to do the callings so "we are all enlisted." I have been in lots of presidencies but never as the president. Last weekend I was talking with a friend who is enrichment counselor in a Relief Society presidency (not in my ward OR my stake lest there be any rumors) and she was talking about how the president basically tells her what to do - exactly how the enrichment meetings are to be run and the program she wants at each one. For example, for the fall enrichment meeting she wants a full meal and a reader's musical theater. My friend is supposed to write the play and come up with the music. And oversee the dinner and everything else. I have no problem with people who want to have incredible activities...but the problem is that my friend doesn't feel like that's what they need to do. Or that *she* can write a play.

I don't want to debate how a presidency should be run because that is not my expertise. My a-ha moment in that whole scenario was that a president (or leader) who micro-manages is just as ineffective as one who doesn't do much at all. I know at times I have been stressed out because the person I was counselor to wouldn't...well, wouldn't lead. I felt like I was trying to walk up a hill behind them but they wouldn't move, so I had to kick them forward then hike up myself. I sometimes thought, "What I wouldn't give for someone who just had it all together!" Now I am seeing there is caution in "having it all together" too.

So my point...and my hope for myself as a leader in church and business...is to teach correct principles, model them, and give people a chance to shine on their own. Will they stumble? Yes. Will I stumble? Yes. Will we survive? Probably! And as someone said...John Maxwell I think...the mark of a true leader is the ability to create other leaders. When we give someone a stewardship, whether it be Enrichment or Cub Scouts or Sunbeams, we should teach and model correct principles, then trust them to get inspiration for their stewardship.

Upon reflection I realized this principle is so true in our stewardship as parents as well. I am guilty a lot of times of just jumping in and doing things for my kids, and what are they learning from that? Or I give them a big chore and expect it to be done perfectly.

Whew, I've got some things to change. I'm so glad that tomorrow is a new day!

Poop at Food Lion

2008-08-20T17:12:00.003-04:00

Usually you don't think of poop at the grocery store. But I am a huge failure in the potty training department and my 5 year old isn't potty trained yet. Full disclosure, though - he has issues processing speech and language, so he doesn't quite understand all about getting to the potty in time yet.

I thought we had the whole poop thing down - like what time of day he goes - and as I was rounding a corner in the grocery store I caught a whiff...oh, man! I didn't put a pull up on him but big boy underwear...thankfully with plastic pants over (which I had to SPECIAL ORDER on the internet because I can't find them in any stores around here - that's another story). So I peek down the back of his pants and, sure enough, see the little turtlehead of poo sticking up at me. "Hi, mom!" Grr. Pew. Well, the smell isn't tooo bad yet so we finish up what we are doing and check out. All the while I am hoping the store clerk can't smell it. He had to sit in the mess all the way home - about 8 minute drive - and oh joy, that was fun to clean up since it was all mashed in there.

I think that's why kids have a special love for their moms - whoever wipes the butt, gets the love.

Best of luck to all you potty training moms out there! Pray for me to find the right way to get the idea across to him...until then, pull ups and wipes go with us outside the house!